Addictive
by Luaneei
Summary: ERIC & TRIS [AU] : Two men, one girl. When one has what she wants and the other has what she needs, it is hard to decide between the two of them. While Tris is busy with finding out about Eric's real motives, it is hard for her to focus on her relationship with Four, which gets slowly destroyed by jealousy. Rated M for upcoming chapters. ( SMUT, language, etc. )
1. Chapter 1

Chapter ▪ **One**

The world is much easier when you're a kid. You never think about giving up, because you know you can do it. You don't know what you are able to do and you just don't care about it — you just do it. But then you reach that age, when you realize you're not doing it for the same reasons anymore. You're not doing it because you want it. You're doing it because other people want it and they start pressuring you. That's the moment when you give up.

She's been at Dauntless for a few weeks now and there were moments, when she thought about giving up. But there is something what keeps her being strong and it reminds her to stay herself. Christina said, that it might be the fact that she will end up factionless, if she gives up. Of course, she thinks that. But that's not it. That had never been one of her fears, so it doesn't push her to keep fighting.

"Tris, come on!" Christina says, walking toward the bed Tris is sitting on. "I'm starving. What are you thinking about, huh?"

"I'm not thinking about anything." A little laughter escapes her lips, as she turns to see her friend's face. She lies and both of them know. She's been thinking about her family a lot lately. Mostly about the look on her parent's faces, when she went away with all the other people of Dauntless. About Calebs very last look at her, before Erudite carried him away. She wonders, if Christina is missing her family sometimes.

"Up!" she demands in a rather friendly tone. As Tris slowly stands up, Christina wraps her arms around her slim body, keeping her in that hug for a few seconds before she lets go of her again. She smiles. "You will never be alone."

As they make their way down to the pit, Tris notices that they are followed by Eric. She has no idea where he comes from all of a sudden and she moves a bit faster. Christina noticed him as well and starts laughing quietly. "You think he's hunting you? Why so fast?"

"I just don't like his presence at the moment. That's all." She looks behind her one more time and her eyes met his, what causes her to turn her head around immediately. As they take a seat at one of the tables, he walks pass them, not paying any attention. He walks up the stairs, talking to Max.

"He's been hunting us down here." Christina laughs after sitting down next to Will, who is laughing as well, while looking up to Eric.

"I would run too, if he'd be following me. Anyone would do, if they are smart enough." They talk about him like he is some kind of a wild animal. He is brutal and sometimes he acts like one. He likes the way, how people fear him, respect him when he's being the man he is. Watching all of them like a predator, waiting until someone gets weak and he can attack — that is the way Tris thinks about him, at least.

"I wonder if he is always like that. Or if he just acts like that." Tris says quietly, rather to herself.

"Go and ask him. It wouldn't surprise me if you'd do. We know you have a death wish, Tris. You proofed that more than just once." She didn't hear the others laughing, while she's looking up at Eric. The way he stands there, talking to Max with folded arms, it makes her wonder about how he would talk to his girlfriend, if he would have one. Probably not.

A little touch on the shoulder brings her back, out of the thoughts she just sunk into. By hearing that one familiar voice, she turns around, looking into Four's eyes who just smiles at her.

"What? What is it?" she asks.

"I asked if I can talk to you for a moment. Alone." She obviously didn't hear him the first time he asked her. She nods, turning her head one last time to see Eric standing up there. But he's gone and she quickly follows Four to a spot not far away from her friends until both of them disappear behind the corner.

"I hoped you'd come around to see me at my apartment last night." he says, greeting her with a small kiss on the lips. His hands down at her hips as she leans against the wall.

"I'm sorry. I was tired and Christina kept me in the dormitory with her stories. Again." she smiles at him, wrapping her arms around his neck. It is the first time she promised him to come and didn't show up. But Christina kept her awake with her stories more than once.

"Don't worry, it's fine. But therefore you'll keep me company tonight. Okay?" Once again he presses his lips against hers and she couldn't do anything but smile into that kiss.

* * *

To reach his apartment she had to go up the stairs. It's on third floor. It feels like she had been there more than a thousand times already. But she's in that relationship with Four just a few weeks. As she reaches the second floor, she notices Eric coming down the stairs. He doesn't pay much attention, bumping into her shoulder. Her kind of annoyed sounding sigh makes him stop, turning around.

"Did you get lost, Stiff?" he asks, letting his eyes wander up and down her body. A part of her long blonde hair falls down her shoulder, covering her tattoo comepletely as she turns around as well.

"No. I know exactly where I'm going." As if he would really care whether she got lost or not. If that would be the case, he would probably just smirk at her, laughing about her while he turns around and leaves her without knowing where to go. She's happy that this would never happen.

"So you're going to —" he gets interrupted by a female voice calling his name. Tris takes a deep breath, breathing out like it is some kind of relief, some kind of rescue, she didn't even need, of course.

"Have fun." he smirks as he turns around. She frowns at the way he said it and at the way he looked at her. Her eyes remain on him walking down the stairs until he disappears. While continuing her way to her boyfriend's apartment, she still wonders why he looked at her the way he did. He never did that before, practically scanning her body with his eyes. And it doesn't even upset her, like it did that one time a Dauntless-born boy did it during the training.

She quietly opens the door of Four's apartment. Of course, he gave her a key just in case she needs to see him or just wants to escape the crowd down in the pit. His apartment is big, bigger than what she is used to from Abnegation. The room isn't filled with a lot of stuff, just the things that are necessary. A bed, a kitchen, a few places to sit on.

"Hey, there you are. What took you so long?" he asks with a smile, sitting on his bed.

"Eric. I've met him when I was on my way to you. He's never paying any attention to his surroundings, isn't he?" she says as her hand touches her shoulder, the place he carelessly bumped into. It didn't hurt, but she still feels the pressure on her skin.

"Don't care about him. He's an asshole and the worst thing is that he's even proud of that. He likes the fact that people see him like that. Did he hurt you?" he asks quietly, gently running his hand down her shoulder as he stands up.

"No, of course not." she replies with a smile. "Does he have an apartment here, too? On that floor?"

"Yes, at the other end of the corridor. Never been there, though. Why are you asking?"

"Oh, I was just wondering." she shakes her head.

* * *

This morning she woke up early. Earlier than Four, which happens not so often. Instead of waking him up, she just leaves him a note, saying that she left earlier because of training. As she opens the door to leave his apartment, she notices Eric coming out of his room as well. He carelessly lets the door behind him close loudly as he yawns. It must be early for him, too. She remains on the spot she is standing on, watching him passing her by slowly.

"You're still here, Stiff? Still lost?" he jokes, laughing quietly. She doesn't know why she started following him down the stairs. She actually wanted to wait until he's gone, but somehow her feet moved all by themeselves. At least that is what it feels like.

"I still know where I'm going." she hisses back at him.

"Temper. I like that." he grins, his eyes still fixed on the stairs while moving.

"You know, Stiff. I really respect you." he says, stopping and turning around to see her after they reached the second floor. "And I respect Four, too. I'm being serious —"

"Stop it." she says, trying her best to not look at him. He is anything but serious and she won't let him do what he tries to do. He is not able to hurt or upset her. Not like that.

"Oh, clever. You're not as stupid as I thought you were." She slowly raises her head, looking up into his eyes. He didn't think that she was stupid. She knows that, because he's not good at lying. Not right now. She rolls her eyes as she starts moving again, getting away from him. She never thought that she was able to actually make him stop talking.

"Meet me at the office later, will you?" he shouts down to her, what causes her to turn around one last time. She knows, that this was not a question. No favour he is asking for. So she nods and turns around to finally get rid of him.

* * *

After the training Tris took a shower and she still doesn't know why she hurried so much. This morning and the talk she had with Eric didn't go out of her mind, not even during the training. Today he didn't show up. He is probably busy at the office, the place where she is supposed to meet him now. She still doesn't know why. Quickly she moves up the stairs, not noticing that Peter had been following her the way up.

"Where are you going, Stiff?" he asks, his voice the usual tone.

"It's none of your business. Have you been following me?" she frowns at him and the way he grins.

"Obviously, but just because this is the only way up. Start using your head, Stiff." he says, passing her by. She doesn't even care about where he is going. She is just glad that he left her alone, without her letting him know how annoying he is. Moving toward the office door, she takes a deep breath. She starts to wonder what she is actually doing and what he wants. She could turn around now and just go. But it's like her hand raises automatically, knocking on the door before she opens it carefully.

"Come in." she hears Eric's voice saying. He doesn't sit on the chair, he is standing in front of the desk, looking through a few papers. He doesn't fit in here. It just looks weird, a muscular, tattooed and pierced man doing the paper work in an office. There surely is a secretary or someone else to do that job for him. Why he is doing it now, she can't explain. He looks up, putting the papers aside, as if they are suddenly anything but important.

"Come closer, Stiff. I don't bite." he smirks. She is not sure if she heard it correctly, that little '_not yet_' he said to himself rather quietly. Slowly she does as he says, moving a little bit closer. He begins to just look at her. She remembers that moment when Four just didn't stop staring at her. She didn't like it, but having Eric looking like that, it doesn't seem to bother her somehow.

"So, what is it? Why am I here?" she asks, not sure what his response will be. She turns his head, looking around when she suddenly feels his hand grabbing her wrist, pulling her closer to his body. She feels his lips pressing against hers, his hands roughly having their place on her hips, after they ran down her sides. She raises her own, pressing against his chest as she pulls away.

"What are you doing?! Let go." she says while he smirks, still having his hands on the same spot, not letting go.

"Shh shh, calm down." he rather demands, than asking for it. She stops moving, still having her hands on his muscular chest. It doesn't even feel that bad. It doesn't look bad, either. Her hands slowly and carefully run down his chest as she catches her breath again.

"So, you wanted me to come for this?" she asks.

"What else would I want from you, Stiff? Just having a bit fun, that's all." That smirk again. She had seen it too often lately. He starts leaving kisses down her neck, pressing her body even closer to his. It doesn't feel right, but still she finds herself enjoying this little moment. The way he roughly has hold on her hips, the way his dark voice sounds when he's talking, it makes her forget about Four for a little moment. And that is exactly what he wanted to reach.

"You want it too, I know that." He shortly presses his lips against hers once again, before speaking. "You deserve a real man, not that pathetic boy you have to see every night."

She looks at him, right into his usual cold eyes. There is some truth in what he says, he definitely is a man. He is muscular, tall and he is feared and respected by many others. Not that it would be different with Four, he earned the respect of the others, too. But there is something that Eric has, that turns her on even more. She doesn't know what it is. Not yet.

He tries once again and she repeats the kiss, wrapping her arms around his neck. They stay like that for a little while, until he starts moving, causing her to take a seat on the desk. His hands run down her thighs, surprisingly gently pressing against her inner thighs to make her spread her legs a little wider, so he can take his place in between them. Then she suddenly feels his warm hand slowly running up, touching her skin under her shirt as he tries to pull it up.

"Stop it." she pulls away once again, softly pressing her hands against his chest. "I can't do this. I guess I love Four too much to let this happen."

He takes one step back, folding his arms like usual. So, this man can be tamed, if you're doing it correctly. Sort of. She passes him by quickly, making her way to the door.

"Of course. I knew you'd say that." he looks at her. He just knew that this wouldn't be easy. As easy as he wished it to be. He comes closer once again, standing right in front of her. He is taller than Four, just a few centimetres. But that's definitely not the thing that makes her almost regret her desicion. It didn't stop her from opening the door and turning his back on him. The only thing that stopped her from moving is Four, who is standing just a few metres away from them. His face tells how surprised he is, seeing Tris coming out of the office with Eric standing right behind her.

"What did he want from you, Tris?" he asks, coming closer while having his eyes fixed on Eric, who is closing the door with a tiny laugh escaping his lips. Her eyes remain on the door as if she could see right through it, seeing Eric and how he laughed all for himself, being satisfied with the situation he just created. Satisfied with the distrust he just caused between the two of them.

"Let's just go." she says, taking his hand as she leads him to the stairs.

* * *

_**AUTHOR'S NOTE:** Thank you for reading this fanfiction. Leave a review if you liked it and tell me whether I should keep working on this or not. It will help me a lot!_ _Also, be aware that english isn't my native language. I apologize for any grammar or spelling mistakes. I try my best to avoid them. Have a nice day! _


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter ▪ **Two**

He didn't expect her to leave like that. But being the proud man he is, begging someone to stay would never be an option — Eric would not even think about it. After closing the door, after grinning at Four with that faked smile, he slowly moves toward the desk. He had a plan. Giving Four a payback he will never forget, stealing what is his, what is most important to him. He is the reason, after all. The reason for Eric being just the number-two choice back when they passed their tests. He leans against the desk, folding his arm and taking a deep breath. His back is turned to the door.

He knew it was either him or Four. One of them would be asked to become one of the four leaders of Dauntless. Eric, just being at the age of 17 was more than sure that he would be the one. Four wasn't the type for it. He would never get the respect he definitely needed in this position. He starts to remember and it was a tough time.

"Fuck!" he curses, still thinking about what happened just a few minutes ago. Being deeply sunk into his thoughts, he didn't notice someone entering the room. It was Peter, slowly moving toward Eric.

"Hey, Eric." The way he turns around and looks at him makes him stop talking for a moment. He looks pissed. For a moment Peter thinks about leaving, just turning around. But he's afraid, that this will make the leader even more pissed. Talking to him during his free time was a bad idea in the first place. "Can we talk?"

"What do you want?" Eric rolls his eyes, obviously annoyed at the fact, that the initiates still come crying to him for every single problem they have. He might be the leader, but still it is Four's job to take care of them. He told them at the very beginning. The only person who never came to him before — and he knew that person had trouble at the beginning — was Tris.

"You surely know the current rankings. Of course you do." he begins, making a little pause before he starts speaking again, looking at Eric, who just raises his eyebrows, looking at him in a somehow arrogant way. "I want to be on first place. Because I know I am definitely better than Edward."

"Oh, you are?" he asks, coming a bit closer while moving around the table. "Are you saying that I made a mistake?"

That was definitely not the thing Peter had in mind and he wished he didn't even come here. He knows that Eric, Four and probably some others take care about the ranking. He should have started this conversation differently.

"No, of course not. But maybe you've overlooked something. I think Edward and I should fight during the next training." he says, determined.

"You're not in a position to ask me for any favours. And if you're wasting my time any longer I'll cut you into pieces." he growls aggressivly until Peter finally takes the hint and leaves.

* * *

"Tell me, what did he want from you?" Four asks, following Tris down to the pit. She wished someone would just call him now, so she can get away from him. Not because he is annoying or anything like that. She just doesn't know how to response to his question and she lets it show. "Tris, if you're not going to tell me ... well, then I'm going to ask him instead."

"What?" she stops walking immediately, turning around to see him. She's not sure if Eric will keep it secret, not telling him that she actually kissed him. She knows, if she will start discouraging him from asking Eric, it will only build up more mistrust. "Go ahead then."

She turns around, leaving him just like this. He keeps his eyes on her, watching her talking to her friends. She didn't seem upset. He wished he could say, that there has been some truth in what she was saying — if she just would have said something. She did say nothing at all. When he turns around he sees Eric walking down the stairs. Four doesn't like talking to him, especially not about his relationship and Tris. But she practically asked him to do it and he knows, even with his back turned on her, that she is currently watching him.

"Eric, wait a second." he quickly moves toward him. He didn't think Eric would actually stop and listen to him, but he does. Without saying a word, without complaining. He didn't even pull a face, like he usually does. "Why did you want Tris to see you in the office?"

"I wanted to see her?" he laughs. "How do you know I wanted to see her? Maybe she wanted to see me."

"Why would anyone want to see _you_?" Four counters. He's not afraid of Eric and he shows less respect. But still he knows that he better is careful, since Eric is in a leading position in Dauntless. That is the only fact, what makes him control himself around him. If that wouldn't be the case, Eric would have already earned a blue eye, he knows he is able to give him.

Eric smirks. He could easily tell him anything he wants right now. Looking over Four's shoulder, he sees Tris sitting with her friends, not far from them. She doesn't pay any attention to them, eyes focused on Eric and Four. As if she expects something Eric isn't really sure about.

"I didn't fuck her, if that is what you think." he says. Whether Four likes it or not, that was exactly what he wanted to hear. He knows that Eric is telling the truth, also a bit wondering about him being honest. He turns his head away from Eric, still standing in front of him with folded arms, taking a deep breath.

"That's not what I expected." he lies.

"Careful, Four." he pushes the other with one hand against his chest, not strong enough to make him fall down, but still Four has to take a step back. "You know, that I am able to do a lot of things. And I'm just letting you know, if I want her I can fucking get her."

"Stop making me laugh." Four says, carelessly walking past him. He knows, that Tris doesn't even like Eric. They have talked about him a few times and she always mentioned how much she dislikes him. He remembers she even made fun of him once. What it was exactly, he can't remember anymore.

* * *

It already got dark outside and Tris sneaked out of the dormitory before Christina returns. She went outside with Will at dawn and she somehow is glad, that they didn't ask her to come with them. She didn't talk to Four the whole day and didn't even see him. It was nothing one could call an argument, they just lost sight of each other during the day. The last time she saw him was when he was talking to Eric down in the pit. And due to the reaction of both, Eric and Four, she assumes that Eric didn't mention that they kissed. If he would do, Four would probably try to beat the shit out of him. At least that's what she's expecting. How he would treat her then, she doesn't know.

She walks up the stairs. She wants to surprise Four with a visit, maybe a massage as a little apology for leaving him down in the pit without telling him anything. And then they will see what follows after. She's not afraid of intimacy anymore, but still she's a little bit shy. She and Four have slept with each other three times already, but still she doesn't like to take off her clothes completely. Last time they did, she kept on her bra and he said that it was completely fine and that they can keep it that way for a while if she wants it like that.

Reaching the third floor, she sees Eric standing at his door. He dropped the key and she doesn't like the loud noise it made. Picking it up, he notices Tris standing at the other end of the corridor. Again she wonders why she didn't just wait until he was in or why she didn't hurry to get into Four's apartment. She starts moving toward him and he waits until she speaks.

"What did you tell Four down in the pit?" she asks, standing right in front of him now.

"I told him that I didn't fuck you." he answers carelessly. She frowns at the way he said it, at the choice of words, thinking that it was some kind of very bad joke. But she never heard him joking.

"That's what you said to him?" Her question makes him laugh quietly. What did she expect from Dauntless? Eric had never been good with words, but he knows that he doesn't even need to be. He doesn't like beating around the bush and prefers to tell people directly what he means, not in a way Candor would do it, though. Unlike them, he knows when it is time to shut his mouth.

"Yeah, of course. What did you tell him?" he asks with a smirk.

"I told him nothing. But I'm afraid he's going to try again and ask me why I was there with you." she turns her head to the side, already thinking about what she could say. Eric turns around as well, opening the door to his apartment. It is dark in there, but still it catches Tris' attention and she turns her head once again, taking a look inside while he's got his back on her. As he turns around, she is still looking.

"You wanna come inside?" he asks. She should have turned around. She should have said no and just go, but she didn't. And he knew that he would get her inside his apartment. He turns the lights on and Tris takes a look around. This apartment is a bit bigger than Four's. It has big windows with a beautiful view on the city lights. There is no bed in this room, so she assumes that there must be an extra room for that. Unless he's sleeping on the couch, that is standing in the middle. But that is probably not the case. She keeps on walking slowly through his apartment and finally finds the kitchen around the corner. It doesn't look like he's cooking often.

"You read books?" she asks after noticing the bookshelf standing at the wall. It's not that big, but still it is full with books. Slowly she lets her eyes fly over a few titles and there is one she recognizes. She remembers when she visited Caleb the other day, he was reading a book with the exact same title.

"I've read them, yes." he answers, taking a seat on the couch, watching her a little while.

"This one." Carefully she takes that one book she recognizes from Caleb out of the bookshelf. "My brother was reading this when I visited him at Erudite."

She looks at him and he knows exactly what she is thinking. She is anything but stupid and he knows what she would like to ask him. He still remembers his time at Erudite. Of course he does. He never felt like he'd belong there but still he learned to play by the rules. Until that one day he was finally able to get away from that place he had to call his home. She turns around, noticing that Eric is watching her. She puts the book back to its place before she starts moving toward the door immediately. This is no place for her to be.

"Stop!", she hears Eric shouting. He stands up, walking into her direction. The control he has over her causes him to smile. There is nothing better than having control over people, let it be a group or just a single person.

"I shouldn't be here. Four is probably waiting for me." she tries to escape this situation, but somehow her feet won't start moving.

"Is that so?" He comes closer, causing her to press her body against the wall. She didn't want to look him into the eyes, but she does. Again she feels his hands on her hips, not as rough as last time. She wonders, if he would give up if she'd just slap him or kick him. But he's too close already and she is not even sure if she really wants to hurt him. Nor does she know if she really wants him to go away.

He leans down to kiss her, trying it one more time and she repeats the kiss without hesitation. His hands run down her ass to her thighs, lifting her up to carry her to the bedroom, closing the door behind them. He just wants to make sure, that she doesn't think about fleeing again, like she did last time. She feels the soft mattress under her back and opens her eyes as he pulls away, straightening himself up to take off his shirt. She bites her underlip. Looking at him now, she wonders why she left the first time when he kissed her in the office. He's a man, handsome and muscular and exactly what she wants right now.

He begins to tug at her pants and she helps him, pulling it off and throwing it onto the ground. It surprises her how easy she does these things, while it took her ages until Four was even allowed to look at her naked legs. She spreads them a bit as Eric came down to kiss her lips again. His lips move down, leaving a few kisses down her neck. The little moans she lets out make him smirk a tiny bit. He could easily get used to that. His hands wander under her shirt, pulling it up. Right after that she sits up, opening her bra slowly to take it off. She knows, she never did that for Four, but with Eric it is different. She wants him to like her body and she wants to show him what she's got to offer. She never thought that this would be easy. She leans back down, covering her breasts with her right arm. Eric took her wrist, removing her arm that covered her upper body and pinned both of her hands above her head and he smirks at her.

It didn't take them long to take off their clothes completely and Tris feels his hands at her thighs. She takes a deep breath as he widens them a bit, navigating his cock to get inside of her. When he's deep enough, he places both of his hands on each side of her head and pushes his member in slowly, as deep as possible. While one of Tris' hand is wrapped around his muscular arm, having something to hold on, the other moves up to his face. With the palm of her hand she touches his cheek, what causes their eyes to meet. It's not the look he usually has, there was nothing arrogant or proud in his eyes. For a moment it was like she could see right through him, not seeing the brutal leader of Dauntless but another man.

He looks down again, watching his cock as he begins to move it in and out. He started slowy and she moans as he got a bit faster.

"Eric ... " His name escapes her lips, being louder than before. She likes the feeling. It's different than the sex she had with Four and it's probably much better. She somehow isn't that shy anymore, even when he's touching her breast while they kiss again. And even Eric has to admit, that this is different than what he had with other women. Much different.

After both of them finally came, Eric slowly pulls out and lets his body lazily fall down beside her. For the first few seconds they didn't say anything, just trying to catch their breath and slowly coming down from their high.

"Fuck." he says, followed by a quiet laughter. Every now and then he had to remind himself that this was nothing special. It was just sex and he did it for no other reason than — right! He did it because Four deserved a payack. He almost forgot about it. Carefully Tris moves to take a blanket, pulling it up to cover her naked body as she sits up to look at Eric, who is just lying there, doing nothing.

"I knew this was a bad idea." she says, running her hand through her blonde hair. It definitely was fun, but now that they are done, her mind found some room to let Four in again and she's thinking about him. He didn't deserve this.

"What makes you think it was a bad idea?" he says with a smirk. "Because it wasn't."

She still looks at him. She remembers his face just a few minutes ago. Now he is back, that brutal and proud leader of Dauntless.

"If you want to go, then do it. I won't stop you now." he stands up, putting his clothes back on.

"Can I stay?" she looks up to him, her lips slowly forming a smile. She doesn't want to see Four right now. Not after this. And she also doesn't want to meet Christina on her way back to the dormitory. She can literally see her questioning eyes in front of her. Eric didn't turn around to see her. He didn't expect her to stay and he doesn't want to show her how surprised he is. How she is able to catch him off guard.

"Do whatever you want." he shrugs, still with his back turned on her as he pulls down his shirt. He got her inside his apartment, he will get her out — if he would want to. He doesn't and he lets her stay.

She lays down again, still covering her body with the blanket. She can smell his scent on the place he was laying before and she likes it. She turns her head to the side, wondering what time it is. She just realized, that he's making himself ready to go, leaving her alone in his apartment.

"Where are you going? It's late." she states. He already moved toward the door before she spoke, what makes her wonder, if he would have said something if she didn't ask him. She knows, she has no right to ask him that question. It is none of her business anyway and she wouldn't be upset if he wouldn't tell her. She realizes, she would love to have him right beside her now, sleeping next to her. But he won't change his mind and he leaves without saying a word, just looking at her shortly before he starts walking out the door.

* * *

_**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**_ _Thank you guys for your nice words and tips! I got a few reviews and I'm really happy to hear that most of you liked the first chapter and told me to continue. I just want to let you know that I do read every single review I get and I appreciate all of them. I will definitely keep on working on this fanfiction and I gladly take any advices and tips for the upcoming chapters as well. Tell me if you liked the second chapter. Thanks a lot! _


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter ▪ **Three**

It's already one in the morning when Eric leaves his apartment — leaving Tris without saying a word. She is different and he noticed that before. He noticed a lot of things during the last days when it comes to Tris and how she behaves. She made him stop speaking, even though he never lets anyone interrupt him when he talks. He is stronger and he knows, people will give in whenever he gets louder or frowns at them. He let her inside of his apartment, looking through his collection of books — he never let anyone inside his apartment before and he still would reject anyone who is asking for it. Unless it is Tris. And that's the exact thought, that makes him uncomfortable. This thought animated him to leave his own bedroom as soon as it was possible.

He hurries down the stairs, making his way to the office. The door isn't locked. He slowly opens it, seeing Lauren sitting at the desk. She raises her head, looking up at Eric and her lips form a smile. She looks a little stressed out, probably from all the paper work. It is not even her job to do it, so he can't even explain why she is sitting here at such a time. He doesn't care enough to actually ask why she is still here.

"You're still awake?" she asks, trying to hold back a yawn as she covers her mouth with her hand. Eric doesn't consider her a friend, nor an enemy. He usually talks to her, when it is something related to work and that's it. She doesn't show much of an interest, either.

"Just like you." he says, walking toward the desk, looking through the pile of papers and causing even more mess than there already is. Lauren leans back at the chair, watching him with crossed arms. On one side she is happy that he came, distracting her from work, reminding her about the short break she wanted to take half an hour ago. But on the other side she is getting upset about how he carelessly moves the papers from one side to the other — her papers, she's been working on before he came in.

"Eric, I've been working here. What are you looking for?" she hisses, her voice sounding more aggressive than before. He holds up a few papers, letting his eyes fly over the first one. He heard what Lauren was saying, but he ignores her and turns around. The woman breathes out loudly and he knows that she is glad, that he finally found what he's been looking for.

"Good night." she sighs before Eric could leave the room, obviously still annoyed.

"Night." he replies shortly, not looking back at her and closing the door quietly.

* * *

Tris is still awake, still laying in his bed. The more she wishes for Eric to come back, the more she feels guilty for what she's doing to Four. She still loves him, of course she does. But there is something she feels towards Eric as well, but she doesn't know what it is exactly. She feels the need to find out and that is what makes her stay, what makes her thinking about him sometimes, when she should actually think about her boyfriend.

She's not tired yet and instead of wasting her time doing nothing, she takes a look around his bedroom. The white walls are not decorated, but still the atmoshpere makes her feel comfortable. A little dark bedside table is placed next to her side, matching the colour of the bed. There is nothing placed on it but a lamp, which light is shining in a warm colour. Looking closely, she just noticed the little drawer at the bottom of the bedside table and there it is again. The curiousity, which often puts her into sticky or awkward situations.

Carefully she opens it. She can literally see her mother's blaming eyes in front of her, but they were all in vain. It was empty. As she hears the apartment door opening, she quickly closes the drawer and turns off the light. Eric is finally coming back.

He enters the bedroom, closing the door quietly behind him. Tris does a good job at acting to be sleeping. It reminds her of her childhood, back at Abnegation. She often stayed awake at night to watch the stars at the sky and whenever she heard her father's footsteps walking up the stairs, she acted to be sleeping already. She even remembers that one time when her mother's friends came over. She told them how fastly her daughter falls asleep and how much different she was from Caleb. She's been doing a good job and she still does.

After a few seconds she feels Eric crawling into his bed next to her, the blanket pulled up to the middle of his upper arm. He sleeps with his back turned on her, but she doesn't mind.

* * *

The training begins in 15 minutes and Tris is still laying in Eric's bed. The rising sun wakes her up and she turns to Eric, who is still sleeping. She knows, that she is late and Christina is probably wondering where she is. And Four — she forgot about him, just like she forgot in which bed she is actually laying. Gently she taps his shoulder.

"Hey, Eric." her voice is surprisingly calm, even though she is well aware of being late. "Eric, what time is it?"

Her soft voice wakes him up and he moves, burrying his face in the pillow. He didn't sleep well last night. Carelessly he mumbles something into the pillow, but she didn't understand.

"What?" she asks and he turns around, now laying on his back. He looks tired and she notices the dark circles under his eyes. He didn't look at her, keeping his eyes fixed at the ceiling. He didn't forget about her over night. He fell asleep, knowing that she is there and he woke up, still knowing that she lays right beside him. He knows, he is probably late as well, but he doesn't care.

"I said that I don't know." he repeats his own words. He thought about adding a "I don't care, either", but he is too lazy to speak more words than necessary.

"I think training starts in a few minutes. Aren't you late as well?" she asks and he sighs loudly.

"Who cares. Four is probably there already. So what."

"It's weird to hear that coming from you. You're always the first one to explode if anybody is late." she jokes and it causes him to look at her. Unlike her, he is not smiling. It doesn't amuse him in any way and he frowns at her, but just for a little moment. He turns his head away again. He begins to wonder, why he allowed her to stay over night. To actually share such a private moment with one of the initiants, it is nothing he would call alright or even wise. He is the Dauntless leader, after all and he already feels how he is losing his authority towards her. But she is not the one to blame.

"Well ..." he starts grinning, like he usually does. "Basically I know that you are late. And I don't like people being late. The fact that you are lying in my bed doesn't change anything. What means, that I can still punish you for being late."

"You wouldn't!" she laughs, leaning back and pulling her blanket up again.

"I definitely would." her laugh causes him to laugh as well and he turns his head to her, being just a few centimetres away from her face. "I'm being serious, Tris. Get up and go."

"Alright." she says quietly, sitting up once again. She takes her shirt, just holding it in her hands. She doesn't know why, but a small smile showed up on her face. She turns around again, leaning over Eric to kiss him. Instead of keeping on telling her to go, he repeats that kiss. It is hard to admit, but he wants her. Just like last night.

They get interrupted by hearing someone knocking on the door. Tris pulls away, smiling at him while she bites her underlip. She stands up, taking on her clothes. She didn't want to pull away yet. She wanted to stay in bed with him, but that's too risky. For both of them and she knows it. Eric stands up as well, not smiling like she does. He puts on his clothes quickly and walks out of the bedroom to the door, opening it slowly. It's Four.

"You were still sleeping? You look terrible." he says calmly. Why of all people would he come to wake him up? Why would anyone even come looking for him? There are a lot more questions running through his mind right now. But no answers to any of them. Obviously annoyed he sighs, leaning against the door frame with crossed arms.

"Shut up. What do you want?" he growls at the other.

"I didn't come to wake you up." he says, looking over Eric's shoulder to see what he's actually been coming for — the papers Eric got from the office last night. It is important and has something to do with the intelligence sector of Dauntless, the place where he is usually working. Without a word he just walks past Eric into his apartment.

"What do you think you are doing, Four?" he growls, following him. He is the very last person he wants in his apartment and as he raises his arm to grab the other's shoulder, Four makes a quick move forward, grabbing the papers from the table. Eric sighs. He still feels tired and is too lazy to even try throwing him out and he takes a seat on the couch, watching Four looking through the papers.

"You didn't sign them yet." Four breathes out, annoyed. Sometimes he has the feeling, that Eric does these things on purpose to make him upset. But it doesn't. He fakes a smile, letting the papers carelessly fall back on the table, right in front of the leader. He takes a small pen out of his pocket and reaches out his hand into Eric's direction. "I need them as soon as possible."

"Here." Eric growls after he signed the papers. He stands up, grabbing Four's arm to lead him out of his apartment. Once he is out of the door, he turns around. He folds the papers twice before he speaks again.

"Have you seen Tris?" he talks quietly. He didn't expect Eric to know where she is, but he wanted to let him know that he's been looking for her.

"I don't know. I don't care where the Stiff is. Training starts in a minute, you better hurry!" he closes the door loudly. He turns around, seeing Tris coming out of the bedroom.

"I better go now." she says, not looking at Eric. She knows that it was Four, who knocked on the door and she feels sorry once again. She regrets, that she kissed Eric, but somehow she wants more of him and she can't explain why. She hopes, that Four is already in the training room, so she can think about a good excuse for being late. And maybe she can think of a story, to explain him why he wasn't able to find her. Before she could open the door, she gets stopped by Eric's dark voice saying her name and she turns around to see him once again.

"Think before talk. Okay?" It wasn't something she expected, but she nods and leaves his apartment.

* * *

It's lunch time and Tris is the last one to leave the training room. She tells Christina to not wait for her and she nods with a smile. She is hiding something from her friends and what is worst, she is hiding something from Four. It was easier to lie to Christina. She told her that she was with Uriah last night, that they sneaked out with some other Dauntless members and did stupid things she will tell her after the training. She is still thinking about what to say.

"Tris." she hears Four calling her. "Where have you been the whole time?"

They didn't have much time to talk during the training. She smiles at him innocently. She hates herself for doing this. He didn't deserve a relationship like this — build up on lies.

"I was with Uriah last night. We and some others sneaked out and had some fun." Her hands move behind her back while she turns her head to the side. She can't look into his eyes, but tries.

"Really?" he laughs. "Were you with his brother?"

"Yes." she nods, laughing as well. She didn't know Uriah had a brother. She better changes the topic before it gets awkward. Quickly she grabs his hand. "I'm starving. Come on, let's go."

They walk out of the training room for lunch. She is not really starving, but it was the best way to avoid any more questions. As they are nearly there, they see Eric walking into their direction. She keeps calm. She knows, Eric won't tell Four anything. If he would have wanted to do so, he would have done it already this morning, when Four was at his apartment. As Eric passes them by, Tris looks at him. He looks at Four's face, who is not paying any attention. Then he looks down at their hands for a little moment. He carelessly bumps into Tris' shoulder. Once again and she turns around. He didn't like to see them like this, holding hands. It's a disturbing picture he would love to set on fire — he is not being jealous, is he? _No, this is no jealousy_, he keeps on telling himself. _Jealousy feels different._

* * *

It's after six, but Tris is still in the training room. Four told them, that there are going to be some fights tomorrow and she just wants to be prepared. She is out of breath and it's like she hears voices inside her head. Four's voice, Eric's voice, even her own. She is getting angry, what causes her to kick harder against the punching bag. She is not angry at Eric or Four. She is angry at herself, for doing the things she does. For lying at her boyfriend, for falling for Eric that easy and for kissing him. She's angry for how his lips tasted, for how he looked at her when she asked him if she could stay over night. She stops punching, catching her breath. How is one man able to make her feel like that? Then she suddenly hears footsteps. Eric is the first person she has in mind, but it's not him.

"Man, what's wrong with you?" Tris turns around, hearing Christina's laughing voice as she comes closer.

"I just want to be prepared, that's all."

"You can do it. Even without working overtime." she smiles and Tris starts punching again. "Hey, Tris. You don't need that."

"Yes, I do." she replies shortly, not looking at the other.

"I want a new tatoo. Or maybe a piercing. I don't know yet."

"Really? That's cool." The last kick was the most powerful and it makes Christina jerk away a tiny bit.

"Are you coming with me?" she follows Tris out of the training room, being glad that she finally stopped. Then she takes a closer look at her. She looks exhausted, obviously from training. But there is something in her face, something different she had never seen before. "Are you okay, Tris?"

"Yes ... I'm coming with you. Just let me take a quick shower. I'll be there in a minute." she says, rushing back to the dormitory. Nothing is okay. She loves Four and she feels attracted to Eric. But there are days, when she wished she would just not get along with either of them.

* * *

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:** _Thank you guys for your nice words on the second chapter! I'm extremly happy that so many people are interested in this story. I apologize for this chapter, tho. I had some problems and had to rewrite it over and over again. There are still some parts I don't like, but I promise the next chapter is going to be better! Just keep on motivating me with your reviews! Thanks! Just to give you a little sneak peek: there will be more smut again in the next chapter. Plus you will get a bit more of Four, I think. I'm not sure yet. Have a great day! _


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter ▪ **Four**

_Tris_

Five days passed since I was at Eric's apartment. And since then we didn't speak.

During the training he treated my like he did before. He walked behind me, watching me like a predator and when I made a mistake, he attacked. He humiliated me in front of others and did the same with the other initiants. He let me fight against Christina and she won. She kicked me hard against my face and I felt the blood coming out of my nose. When I looked up to him, he shook his head. He was disappointed, even though he knew that there was no chance for me to win against Christina. She is not too strong for me, but unlike her I am not able to hurt my friends in any way.

I sat in the dining hall all on my own after the training. I didn't feel like being with anyone at the moment. I don't even want to see Four right now. I think about the last days, how Eric treated me and how I lied at Four. None of these things feel right. I hear a familiar voice and I look up to see Eric sitting at one of the other tables. He sat there with Max and Lauren. I stare at them, obviously confused. I've seen him a lot with Max, but this is the first time I see him speaking to Lauren. I stand up, moving into their direction. By coming closer I notice the bottles of beer standing on their table.

"Eric?" I lean down to him and he turns around to see me. He didn't expect me. I can see the surprise in his eyes, but he tries his best to act like he usually does. "Can I talk to you for a minute?"

"I'm busy." he immediately turns around again and I straighten up. His voice was full of disinterest and it upsets me. At first I wanted to turn around and go. _He is not worth it_, I thought. But before I can take the first step away from him I hear Lauren speaking.

"Maybe I can help." She smiles. She is one of the instructors for the Dauntless-born, but I've noticed that other initiants have been talking to her as well lately. I don't know her and I would rather talk to Four, if I would really have a problem with the training or anything related to it. But I don't. With a kind smile I shake my head. I can't talk to anyone but Eric about that problem.

"No, thank you. It's not that important, anyway." I turn around but before I could move, I feel a tight grib on my wrist. I don't even need to take a look to know that Eric is the one keeping me from going. He stands up and lets go of my arm quickly.

"I don't have all day, Stiff." he says before he walks pass me. He raises his hand, giving me a sign to follow him while he walks. I know he is just acting. When I was at his apartment, he didn't call me _Stiff_. I still don't like it when anyone calls me like that. Quickly I follow him behind a corner, a place where no one can see us. He's standing in front of me with crossed arms.

"What is it?" he says kind of annoyed and I begin to frown at him.

"Are you serious? Who do you think you are?" I try my best to not yell at him. The way he looks at me makes me angry. I swollowed to not let my voice sound shaky.

"Why?" he asks loudly.

"Why didn't you talk to me the last days? You act like nothing happened."

"What do you expect from me? Did you think I would treat you different now? Just because you were in bed with me?" he laughs sarcastically. I don't know what to say anymore. When I was walking around the corner with him, I knew what to say. I knew what I expected, but now he confronts me with that question, even though I thought he was in no position to be asking me any questions. I don't know anymore and I looked down to the ground.

Then it came to my mind and I suddenly know exactly what I wanted, what I expected from him. I expected him to love me, to think about me before he goes to bed. Just like I did the last few days. I don't want to cry, but I feel the hot tears running down my cheeks. I raise my hand to whipe them away. I'm not weak. And I don't want him to think, that he is able to hurt me. Even though he is.

"I'm sorry." I say quietly, not looking at him. I feel, that there are no more tears coming and I cross my arms, turning my head to the side. Then I begin to smile, looking into his eyes. He doesn't smile, but his eyes aren't as cold as they usually are.

"You can come to my apartment tonight. If you want to." he says and I nod before he turns around and walks away. He hurt me with the way he treated me, the way he talked to me the last few days.

I know it's my fault, because I gave him the power to do so.

* * *

After my talk with Eric I walk back to the dormitory. Will and Christina were sitting on Will's bed and Al stands in front of them, leaning against the wall. I already heard them laughing when I came in. I'm glad to call them my friends. When I'm around them, I don't think about Eric. Not that much, at least. Lazily I let my body fall down onto my bed, which is near where they are sitting and they look at me.

"Hey, Tris." Christina smiles at me and I smile back. "Did you hear the great news already?"

I shake my head and my eyes wander from Christina to Will and back. "No, what is it?"

"Tomorrow's excursion is going to be lead by Eric." says Will, laughing. "I hope he's in a good mood tomorrow."

"What about Four? Wasn't he supposed to take us to the fence?" I ask quietly. I remember him telling me about that excursion and he said, that he's going to lead us there.

"He probably needs a break from all of us." Al jokes, but it doesn't make me laugh. I don't want Eric to show us the fence tomorrow. I don't want him to treat me like all the others again. He will probably watch me jumping on the train and he won't help me, like Four usually does. When I see Four reaching out his hand for me, I never want to take it, because I know I'm able to get on the train all by myself. But when I see Eric standing there, watching me how I run next to the train, I feel like I'm in need of help. I feel too slow, too weak to jump on it, but he would just stand there and shake his head at how I am not able to handle it. I wonder how many people he had left behind during the last years at Dauntless.

"Wait ..." Christina looks at me with her questioning eyes. "He's going to take us to the fence? Where do you know that from?"

I talk a lot to Four and sometimes I confuse what he had said to me and what he had said to all of the initiants. This must be something he just told me and I raise my hand up to the back of my head. I feel how my cheeks burn. I'm not good at lying, but I will try my best.

"Oh, I heard him and Lauren talking the other day. I heard them talking about the excursion and the fence." I smile at them.

"Yeah. Sure." Christina smiles back at me. She doesn't believe me. How am I supposed to lie at a Candor-girl.

"Who cares where she got it from. We're going to see the fence and that's interesting, I think." Al says and I'm glad that he caught the other's attention.

"Well, it would be interesting. But I assume we're all going to be busy with concentraiting on not making any mistakes, so Eric won't cut us into pieces. Let's just hope we will get back alive." Will starts laughing and Christina and Al join him. I turn my head to the other side, away from them. I have seen other sides of him and it makes me think about him again. It makes me think about how he kissed me and how he touched me. I hear my friends talking, but I'm not listening to them.

* * *

I stand in front of Eric's door and it makes me remember the first time I stood here. I wonder what would have happened if he didn't drop the keys. If it didn't make him turn around to see me and if he just walked inside of his apartment without me following him. Before I could sink deep down in my thoughts again, I raise my hand to knock on the door and wait until he opens it.

"Hey." I say as he takes a step back to let me inside. I walk pass him and take a seat on the couch. I'm not angry or upset and I'm not near to tears like before. I look at him with a smile and I expect him to say something.

"I'm not used to having guests." he carelessly shrugs as he sits down next to me.

"I'm not used to you talking to me like that anymore." I say, crossing my arms and I watch him rolling his eyes. He is the typical man, who likes it easy. I noticed that before.

"That's what you came for? Great." he sighs, looking down at his hands.

"Well, what did you want me to come for?"

"I didn't want you to come." My eyes meet his immediately and I stand up, making my way to the door. I never did regret coming here before, even when I thought about Four. But now I do, because of what he just said. I don't want him to think, that I'm in need of following him around like a puppy, who can't live without its owner. When I heard his dark voice again, I turn around, giving him one last chance to explain.

"I don't want you to leave, either." He leans back and sighs loudly. "God, woman. I didn't mean it like that."

"Why did you say it like that then?"

"Why are you being so complicated now?" The way he sits there makes me smile. So, he actually wants me to stay and it must have a reason. If I would mean completely nothing to him, I would have been out of this door already. Without him holding me back. I move forward to sit down next to him again and I smile at him. I don't even know why. His eyes follow my movements as I take a seat.

"You like easy women, don't you?"

"I'm not gonna lie." he laughs. "Who doesn't?"

I don't say anything, because he is right. I'm usually not like that. I'm not complicated, but what else did he expect me to do? Before I could speak he leans forward, pressing his lips against mine. It surprised me at first, but I repeat that kiss. I like the taste and he is good at it. _How could I ever say no?_

It's getting hotter and my puls gets faster with every second. At least it feels like it. I'm taking off my jacket, wearing a strapless top under it. I'm leaning back and he follows me, laying between my legs as he starts leaving kisses down my neck and collarbone.

"Didn't you miss me at night?" I ask, looking down to him as he slowly pulls up my top. He sits up to pull off his shirt as well. He leans down to me again, kissing my lips shortly before answering my question.

"No, I didn't." he shakes his head with a smile. He wanted to kiss me again, but I turned my head to the side to tease him. But instead of admitting that he did, I feel him biting my neck and it causes me to moan. Four never does those things to me. No one ever did before, but I liked it. He easily removes my black pants and I feel his warm hands running up my thighs as he leans down to kiss me again.

When we were finally naked, the palm of my hand meets his cheek and I look at him. "You did miss me, didn't you?"

"You're talking too much." That is all I get before he kisses me again. I know, that he missed me. He just doesn't want to admit it.

I really like his kisses. They are passionate, but not too much of it. It's exactly the way I like it. The way I know I _need_ it. While I enjoyed those kisses I suddenly feel a rough thrust inside me. With shock my right hand tightly grabs his shoulder, with my other hand I roughly take a hold on the couch and I moan. I wasn't prepared for that and I looked at him.

"Eric!" I admonished him, my hands pressed against his chest now. He didn't hurt me. It was just the shock, that makes me look at him like this now.

"I'm sorry, okay?" he smiles, leaning down to kiss me again. I don't think, that he really is, but it didn't destroy the atmoshpere, anyway and I give in to him once again. I wrap my arms around his neck and we are face to face as he begins to gently move his cock in and out of me. I breath havier with every thrust and I like the way he looks at me, the way he just smiled at me when I did first.

He gets a bit faster, a bit harder and it causes me to moan out his name when I throw my head back. I love the feeling of his cock deeper and deeper inside of me and he knows it. That's the reason why I came here. It's the reason why he offered me to come to his apartment and we both know.

We're both breathing heavily after we came. After a while he sits up, running his hand through his short hair. He looks good, when he is exhausted like that and I watch his chest moving for a while before I sit up next to him.

"Now admit it." I say, still a little bit out of breath.

"Admit what?" he turns his head to see me and I look at him as well with a smile.

"Say that you've missed me."

He laughs quietly and turns his head away again, keeping his eyes fixed on a point somewhere at the wall. "I've missed you. You're satisfied now?"

I nod and kiss his lips shortly. He acts like he would only say that to keep me quiet, but I know it's not like that. And even if he didn't miss me as a person, he missed the sex and I'm sure, that he did.

* * *

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:** _Thanks for leaving nice reviews every now and then. I really appreciate every single one of them! Let me know how you liked this chapter! Thank you, guys and have nice day! _


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter ▪ **Five**

_Tris_

I run down the stairs quickly, before Four will get up and leave his apartment. I've spend the last night with Eric once again and it would end up in a massive drama if he would see me coming out of his apartment. I don't feel as guilty as I probably should. Not anymore.

This morning was different and Eric was different, too. He didn't sleep with his back turned on me and he even smiled at me when I opened my eyes. His voice wasn't as rough as usual and it made me wishing I could stay. But it would have been too risky.

I enter the dormitory and everyone is awake already. Christina just came out of the shower. Her hair is still wet and the water drops from her hair-ends. She smiles at me and I do the same. "Morning. Where have you been, Tris?"

I don't know why she always seems to be interested in my location, but I can't be miffed about her being curious. Before I could say something I notice, that she got distracted. Her head turns into the direction Will is coming from. He is standing at his bed shirtless and that might have caught her attention. He is handsome and his body is well trained. It doesn't make him look like sixteen, he rather looks like twenty or twenty-one. Christina looks back at me and grins, before she continues putting her clothes on. Luckily it made her forgot her own question she asked me.

I took a quick shower and rushed back to the dormitory. Everyone's been gone aleardy, but Al sits on his bed, cupping his chin in his right hand. It looks like he is waiting for something to happen. He might have been waiting for me and I smile at him after I came in.

"I hope he will do it quickly." I hear him say quietly, yet loud enough for me to hear. I sit down on my bed to tie my shoes.

"Who?" I ask while I stand up and move to follow the others.

"Eric." he says. He didn't see how I rolled my eyes at him. Everyone is terrified by him. Everyone but me and it's not because of how differently he acts when we are alone. I never was afraid of him. Not even in the very beginning.

"I've never seen him _killing_ anyone for making mistakes." I add while moving faster.

"That's because you never spend any time with him. I mean, we see him during the training and that's it. I bet he's capable of doing horrible things, Tris." If he would only know about how different he can be. If he would only know about the hours I've spent with him alone. But it is something I better keep to myself. His words let me think about what Eric might be capable of.

We reach the crowd of Dauntless initiants and I know, that we are three minutes too late. I'm too small to look over the heads of the others, but then I hear someone whispering my name. It's Christina. With her finger she points at the place next to her and I quickly start to move. This place is much better. I go on my tiptoes and I can finally see Eric. The initiants are gathered around him.

"You were right. He's going to take us to the fence." Christina whispers. We should rather listen to what Eric is explaining, but I turn my head to the side to talk to her instead.

"Yes. I told you I heard Four and Lauren talking about it." I say quietly with a smile.

"Hey, I believed you from the start, okay?" she laughs and I feel her thin fingers poking my ribs. It causes me to giggle, not paying any attention to Eric, who is looking at us now. His eyes jump quickly from me to Christina and he begins to frown at her. She just looks bushfully to the ground and I can literally see her heart beating faster and faster as Eric slowly comes closer, still looking at her.

"If you're not interested in this, then you are allowed to leave, Christina. You don't have to come with us." he stops right in front of her. For some reasons I don't dare a glance at him and I'm wondering why. "And with leaving I mean leaving forever."

Her eyes remain down on the ground as she nods and Eric turns around. From the corner of my eye I saw his head turning into my direction, but he didn't say anything. Then I hear the train coming and Eric gave us a sign to start running. He was the first one to jump on it. He must have done it a thousand times already. It looks so easy when he does it. Christina runs in front of me and jumps on. Eric grabs her arm roughly to help her up, then pushes her behind him once she has ground under her feet again. I never saw him helping anyone to jump on the train before.

I am the next one and I see him reaching out his hand to me. I wonder if he's going to be as rough as he was when he helped Christina. But he's not. While I jump on I grab his hand and he pulls me inside. Instead of pushing me, he just takes a step aside, still keeping his eyes on those who are running next to the train.

"Damn, this man's got a grib!" I hear Christina complaining as I stand next to her. She looks at her arm as if it would be a wounded puppy she just found on the streets and it makes me laugh. The rest of the train ride we don't talk much. Every now and then I see Eric taking a glance at the initiants, watching them — watching us, I mean. He turns around and our eyes meet, but before I could make an impression his eyes wander back to the spot they stayed on before.

I notice the train getting slower and we are finally there. With a quick gesture Eric leads us out of the train and near the fence, running up the stairs to have a better view. I see the fields on the other side and people, who are working on them. I know it's the Amity, but the distance is too big to recognize their faces.

"Look, Stiff." I suddenly hear a voice from right behind me and I wince a little. It's Peter. "This faction would have been way better for you. No, wait! Even there you would end up factionless, I guess."

I just ignore his words and the laughter of Molly and Drew, which followed after. I wanted to punch him in the face, but seeing me upset is exactly what he wants. I'm not going to let that happen.

I don't listen to what Eric is explaining, even though I should. Four told me about the jobs at Dauntless before, so it's nothing new to me anyway. Once again I let my eyes wander over the wide and golden fields and people. It's a peaceful image and for some reasons it makes me feel uncomfortable. I'm not weak. I can't let Peter do that. There must be a way to make him stop.

* * *

"Tris!" Without turning around I know, that it's Eric calling my name. After returning from the fence, we have our free time and I'm glad, that there will be no training today. Christina walks next to me and stops, turning around to see Eric and so do I. I'm not looking at her, but I can literally feel her eyes on me and how they stare.

"What does he want? You didn't do anything wrong, did you?" she whispers and I shake my head. He didn't call my name to tell me what I've been doing wrong or even to punish me. I know that. What I don't know is why he couldn't wait until Christina was gone. I already try to think about what to say later, when she asks me about it. Slowly Eric comes closer, not looking at me, but at her.

"I said Tris. Not Christina." he says aggressivly. I don't like it when he talks like that. Carefully she starts moving, her eyes switching from me to him and back, until she finally disappears behind the corner.

"What is it?" I turn around to see him again. Looking into his eyes, I'm not sure anymore if he really came for another reason, than punishing me. It's the exact same glance like before, when he looked at Christina, because we were giggling during his talk. I cross my arms and take a breath, feeling my cold hands on my body.

"I know you didn't listen to me when I was talking." he begins surprisingly calm. "I don't like it, when people don't pay any attention."

"Four already told me about —"

"I don't care about what Four told you already!" he interrupts me loudly. His suddenly harsh tone makes me take half a step back. "When I talk, you gonna listen! Is that clear?"

When he talks to me like this, I always need to remind myself, that he's still my leader. I keep on forgetting about his authority when we are alone, which isn't only my fault in my opinion. I feel my eyes filling up with tears, even though I don't want to cry. It makes me think back when I was little. When Mother used a harsh tone on me, because I was doing something forbidden, I always cried, even though I tried my best to hold back my tears. My eyes quickly move down to the ground. Again I don't want to let him see, what he is actually able to do with me. I don't want to give him the power to make me go weak. Not again.

I wonder what he is thinking now. Does he feel sorry when he makes me cry? Or does he even enjoy the view? I shake my head and want to say something, but I just wipe away my tears instead. When I look up at him again, his head is turned to the other side, his eyes remaining on a spot down on the ground. It looks like he's thinking about something.

Unexpectedly I raise my hand, my fingers touching the skin of his face. Softly I make him turn into my direction and I look into his obviously surprised eyes. I can see it. He didn't mean to talk to me like that. He might even regrets it, but I don't care anymore. Slowly I let the palm of my hand run down his cheek.

"Don't do that again, Eric." I say quietly, feeling another hot tear running down my face.

He leans down to press a kiss on my lips and I know, that this is some kind of an apology. Gently I press my hands against his chest as he pulls me a bit closer to him. The way he talked to me hurt me, but somehow he managed to make me giving in once again.

I hear footsteps coming from behind the corner and I pull away immediately. I turn around to see Four standing there with eyes wide open. His eyes jump from Eric back to me. I forgot, that one of my hands is still pressed against Eric's chest. I take a step back when I see him quickly coming closer to us.

"What did you do to her?" he shouts at Eric, pushing him roughly against the wall. My wet eyes and red cheeks probably told him, that Eric wanted to — I don't want to think about it any longer. Without hesitation I grab Four's shoulder, trying to pull him away, but he's too strong. I notice Eric clenching his fist and before I could say something, he punches Four into the face. Again I take a step back, raising my hand automatically to cover my mouth in shock.

The punch looked hard, but it wasn't hard enough to make Four fall down to the ground. With a growl his fist fastly moves up to Eric's stomach. I see the blood on Four's shirt, coming from his nose. There is no sense in fighting. I have never seen Four like this before and it makes me feel guilty. He stands up against Eric, against his own leader and he knows the consequences. He does it for me, because he loves me. Because he wants to protect me, making sure that nothing bad will happen to me. Just like he promised me.

Before one of them can attack, I jump between them, pressing against Eric's chest to hold him back. This time I am on Four's side. I don't know how else I could explain this situation to him and I just hope, that Eric will understand.

"It's enough! Stop!" I turn around to look into Four's eyes. He's out of breath, his eyes still wide open. I wrap my arms around his neck, hoping to calm him down a little, but I didn't dare to turn around and take a look at Eric. "It's okay Four. Nothing ha —"

"Don't you ever come near her again, Eric! I swear I'll cut you into pieces." he interrupts me. I hear Eric laughing quietly the way he usually does, while Four gently pushes me behind him and it makes me turn around. The blood in Eric's face tells me, that Four must have hit him into the face. I didn't see it.

"Careful, Four. Don't you forget who you are talking to." The smile in his face disappears as he turns his head to see me. He looks angry in a way he never looked at me before. I grab Four's arm, pulling him away from Eric. I don't know why, but my eyes remain on his for a while. I know exactly what this glance is supposed to mean. I'm going to regret it.

"Come on, Four. Let's go." I say before we leave Eric alone.

"Did he hurt you?"

"No, he didn't. I'm ..." I hesitate, thinking back, thinking about Eric and how he kissed me to apologize. He was serious about it. He was serious about us, I know it. And now I'm switching sides again. But how else could I explain to Four why we were alone together there, so close together. "I'm glad you came. Thank you."

"Tris ..." he stops, taking both of my hands in his. "I promised, that nothing will happen to you here. Not as long as I'm by your side. Don't say thank you."

I smile at him and gently kiss his lips.

"I'll let Max know about this." I back away a bit with my mouth falling open.

"No. No, don't tell him." I say quietly. I don't know what will happen to Eric if anyone finds out about this. I don't know what will happen to me. Four still looks at me, not happy about what I just told him.

"Why? What if he will try it again?" His voice sounds worried.

"I don't want anyone to know about this. I mean ... not yet. Please, Four." He nods, wrapping his arms around me again. I'm surprised, shocked at how I am able to lie at Four. But what I did to Eric, it torns my heart into a thousand pieces.

* * *

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:** _Drama, drama! Thank you for the last reviews. I'm really happy, that so many people actually like this story! Let me know what you think about this chapter. In the next you will finally see what Eric thinks about all this stuff, that's what I cal tell. I'm sorry, that it takes me so long to update. You know ... my finals, ugh. Anyways, have a great day and thank you a lot for leaving a review!_


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter ▪ **Six**

_Eric_

It definitely wasn't my plan to go this far with her.

The plan was to get her close to me, to make her fall for me to finally give Four what he deserves. I keep on telling myself, that she doesn't mean anything to me, that I could simply let go of her and tell Four, what kind of secret she is hiding. But I can't. Not even after what happened before.

I'm not upset or angry with her. It seems, that I just don't care enough about what Four or others will think about me. Just in case he plans on letting others know about this little incident.

I haven't seen Tris since last evening. She probably stayed with Four over night, but I pretend to not care much about it.

It must be around ten in the morning. I enter the training room and Four is the first person to be in my sight. There is something, that disturbs me about the way he watches Tris during the exercise, how he tries to help her. But there is no other option but leaving it the way it is right now. I turn around to take a look at the other initiants. The most of them improved their fighting and created their own personal technique, which is always a good thing. I remember back when Four and I were initiants, our style of fighting and techniques used to be similar. It's something, that annoys me this very day.

I lean with the back against the wall and I couldn't hold back a yawn. I didn't sleep well last night. Then I notice Four helping another initiant, far away from Tris and I move toward her. With her fists she punches against the punching bag. She is not weak, but she isn't one of the strongest, either. She turns her head around for a second, probably looking where Four has gone. After seeing me, she looks away immediately.

"Very clever." I say as I cross my arms, standing right next to her. She still doesn't look at me. "Making me the asshole was probably the easiest way out."

"Honestly ..." Her right first hits the punching back one last time before she turns her head to see me. "You are right. It was the easiest way out. But I didn't mean to make it look like this."

"Oh, you didn't mean to? That's great." I say quietly, making sure she understood my sarcasm. My arms are still crossed as I look down to the ground.

"Look, I'm sorry. I understand when you are angry —"

"I'm not angry, Tris." I interrupt her. She looks into my eyes in surprise. I know, she expected me to be, but I'm being serious. "I just wanted to talk to you."

She hesitates and her eyes wander to the other side to see Four, probably making sure that he's not watching us. "You're provoking him."

"Of course, I do. For fun." I say with a quiet laughter at the end.

"This is no fun, Eric." she sighs. "He wanted to tell Max about it, but I told him to not mention it in front of anyone."

"I don't care. He can do whatever he wants to do."

Before she can say anything, I feel someone pushing me to the left and it makes me taking half a step aside. I don't need to look at that person to know, that it's Four. His sore eyes meet mine and I'm annoyed by the fact, that he is trying to protect her from me for no reason.

"I'll take care of her." he says, now standing between Tris and me.

Again she just looks at me without saying anything. I didn't even expect her to do so.

"Good." I say with a smile and my eyes remain on hers for a while, before I turn around.

* * *

I hear the knocking on my door, but I don't feel like letting anyone inside. It's either Tris or Four — why would Four want to enter my apartment once again, so I guess it is Tris. I knew from the beginning, that she could not let go. Not from this problem, and not from me. I lay on the couch and enjoyed the silence until I hear her knocking once again. I don't know why, but I suddenly feel bad for ignoring her, so I get up slowly to open the door.

"Can I come inside?" she asks. She wears her blonde hair open and I secretly like it when it falls down her shoulders just like right now. She follows me inside as I take a seat on the couch again. I look at her. The way she walks and sits down next to me, I've seen it before.

"I'm sorry for the things, that happened." she begins and she looks right into my eyes. I don't say anything. I once told her, that I'm not upset, that I don't care about what Four will think now. "I can't do this anymore."

She leans forward, bracing her elbows on her knees, now looking down to the ground.

"You feel sorry for him, don't you? Now that he's playing the good boyfriend you actually care about him." I didn't mean to sound that way. My tone is harsh, as if I would want to make her feel sorry for me, instead of him. It's not like that. Or is it?

"I always cared about him!" she protests loudly.

"Really?" I ask and I look at her as she turns to see me as well. "I didn't notice that."

She leans back and sighs in frustration. "That's not really helping, Eric."

"Who says I wanted to help, _Tris_?" I say her name just the way she said mine. Maybe to tease her or maybe just for fun. I don't even know it myself. She stands up, obviously pissed about what I just said. I wait for a little while and stay on the couch before I finally get up. I can't let her go just like this. I don't want to make her feel sad once again. I guess I finally have to admit, that I actually do care about her.

"Wait, Tris. I didn't mean it. I know it's —" I stop by looking at the door. I didn't hear she opened it and I didn't expect Four to stand right in front of us now. He probably wanted to talk to me and it makes me wondering what else he heard now, beside me saying that I didn't mean it.

"Four?" Tris voice sounds shaky. She looks at me and back to Four, whose eyes are wide open, being more than just surprised.

"Four!" I repeat his name with a tiny laughter. This situation is somehow amusing me. "You wanted to pay _us_ a visit?"

"Tris, what is going on? Why are you here?"

"I ... it's not ..." she begins to stutter and looks at me, as if she expects me to help her. The way Four looks at me reminds me of my actual plan — I have Tris where I wanted her from the start. I can easily give Four the pay back he deserves.

"Isn't it obvious? Use your head." The smile on my face remains as I look at Four. I notice how I more and more start to enjoy the look on his face.

"Fuck you." he says and his eyes turn down to Tris. "Both of you."

He turns around to leave. I see Tris starts moving, wanting to follow him, but before she could take step forward, I stand in her way, closing the door behind me. "You're not leaving."

"Why?" she begins to cry, tears running down her cheeks once again. She raises her hand to whipe them away, looking down to the ground, like she usually does, when she doesn't want me to see her crying.

"Because I don't want you to go." I admit, again the tone of my voice seems harsher, than I wanted it to be. With her greyish-blue eyes she stares at me. I see how she expected something else, another maybe not so friendly answer.

Before I could make a move or say anything, I feel how her body leans against mine, her arms wrapped around my body. My arms move around her body as well and I listen to her crying into my chest. I know she is confused and is not quite sure what to do. I saw it, when she entered my apartment and when she saw Four standing in front of my door.

After a while she looks up and takes a step back. Again she whipes away her tears. "Can I stay tonight? I really don't feel like seeing anyone else right now."

I remember her asking the question before. I look into her eyes and nod without saying anything. Then I lean down, pressing a kiss on her lips, but I don't know why I just did it. Because I know, that it's just making it harder for her instead. The plan was to show Four what I am able to do, that I have the power to hurt him. By doing so I didn't notice how much it harmed Tris as well and I feel sorry for her once again. But I'm not going to let that show.

* * *

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:** _The drama, I can't let go of the drama! Even for me this story is getting interesting. And I have to apologize for the fifth chapter! I wasn't really concentrated while writing it and there were so many spelling mistakes, I think. I'm really sorry about that. I hope this one is way better. Leave a nice review if you liked this chapter! I will try to update asap! The next one will be longer, I think. This got kind of short, but I hope that you don't mind! Have a nice day! _


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter ▪ **Seven**

_Tris_

Again he sleeps with his back turned on me. Now that I'm thinking about it, staying with Eric wasn't quite wise either. But I am still confused about what to do. I want Eric to love me and I want Four to forgive me — what is more important to me? I don't even know.

Carefully I reach out my hand, slowly letting it run down his arm to see if he is awake. I wonder what he is thinking about everything that happened so far. I move closer to his back and press my lips against it.

"You're still awake?" I hear him whispering as he turns his head to see me.

"I can't sleep." I answer and he turns around, so he has a better look on me. He looks tired. It's like I can already see the dark circles under his eyes. He will surely have them when he gets up. Then I reach out my hand once again, touching his cheek with the palm of my hand.

"What if ..." I begin, but hesitate. "What if Four won't talk to me again?"

"I don't care." he frowns at me. It is easy to see that he doesn't like talking about Four right now. But it doesn't stop me from trying again.

"But what if I won't pass initiation because of him? I mean, I —"

"That's not going to happen." he interrupts me, not whispering anymore. "Don't wake me for talking about that jerk."

I turn away, now laying on my back, and staring at the ceiling. I don't think Eric ever liked Four, and Four never liked him either, I guess. "I'm sorry."

Then I turn my back on him. It was wrong to stay. I should have followed Four, trying to apologize. I still care about him and about our relationship, after all. I don't want it to end just like this. Or at least, I think I owe him an apology and an explanation before he will tell me, that there will be no second chance for me. I don't want to think about it anymore. Not tonight.

I suddenly feel Eric's arm wrapping around my body. I think it makes me feel a little bit better. Or at least it distracts me from my thoughts for a second.

"Try to get some sleep." he whispers and kisses my cheek gently. I don't really know what it is between the two of us. We never really talked about it. Maybe if we would do, I wouldn't be so confused anymore — or it would just confuse me even more.

The next morning I wake up before him and take a shower. By the time I come back, he sits on the couch and ties his shoes. As I sit down he stands up.

"Come on." he demands calmly, not looking at me. I stay on the couch and wait for him to turn around. I don't want to go. Not yet. Not before he answered my question. It's that one question, that's been floating through my mind last night. I didn't see him rolling his eyes, but the little sound of annoyance he made, tells me that it was there. Then he turns around, but before he could say something, I speak quickly.

"You and me ..." I begin carefully. "What do you think about it?"

He shrugs and takes his time with answering my question. I hoped for something more sensitive, but at the same time I knew, that he is just as clueless as I am.

"You know, I ..." he hesitates as he looks down to the ground. Then he turns his head and looks to the door. "You're late."

That wasn't something I wanted to hear. I nod and walk out the door quickly.

* * *

After the training I sit at the table with Christina. I didn't spend much time with my friends the last few days and I told myself to change that. They will help me to get rid of these thoughts about Eric, Four and everything that happened. I take a look around and see Four sitting at another table on the other end of the dining room — I wish I could disappear, fade away or just be invicible. I'm ashamed for what I did to him.

"What are you thinking about, Tris? You look ... worried." I hear Christina's high voice pulling me out of my terrible thoughts. She smiles at me. At first I wanted to give her my usual answer: _nothing_. But before I open my mouth to speak I think about it. She is my best friend and I can talk to her, I guess.

"Can I ask you something?" I say quietly and lean forward. There are no people next to us. There isn't anybody, who could hear us talking, but I just want to make sure, that she is the only one to know about this mess.

"Sure, go ahead!" she nods, still smiling as she leans closer to me as well.

"No counterquestions, okay? You are just supposed to answer." I try to stay as serious as I can be. "Have you ever been in love ... with two guys at the same time?"

"No way, Tris!" her eyes widen and she suddenly wears a big grin. I have never seen it before on her face and it just looks weird. "Who —"

"I said no counterquestions!" I hiss at her, but she just keeps on grinning. I knew I should have asked someone else. Maybe I should have asked someone who isn't that close to me.

"This is so exciting! Please, Tris" she starts talking louder and louder and I see Four turning around to see us. "Tell me who are they? Come on, I'm your friend. You can trust me. I won't tell anyone else about it."

I know she wouldn't do it, and I do trust her. I could even tell her about Four and I know she would understand, but Eric. I imagine her face, how she looks at me when I mention his name. No, I can't do this. I can't tell her about Four either. He is our instructor, after all. If people would find out about us, they would think that this is my way into becoming a member of Dauntless.

"I will tell you the names another time, alright? Just tell me what would you do in such a situation?" I ask quietly and I notice that she calmed down a bit. Thank god.

"I need the details, Tris. No names, I got it. But did you have dates yet? Did anything special happen yet?"

"Well ..." I begin to think back when I was with Four. From when we had our first kiss to the last time we've slept together. And then I think about Eric and the way he looks at me when we are alone. I'm thinking about how I am able to make him change into another, more sensitive person. When we are alone, there is no brutal Dauntless leader, who likes to see people suffer. "Yes. I kissed both of them."

"Okay." she sighs and looks to the other side, then back to me. "Listen to what your heart tells you. I know this might sound soppy now, but I know it. Deep inside you know exactly what to do. Believe me."

Her words warm me up inside and it makes me smile, but it doesn't help at all. I'm disappointed for not getting the answer I wanted to hear. Maybe I expected too much. Maybe it was because she used to be Candor and I kind of expected her to have an honest solution to my problem. I was wrong. I still don't know how to handle this situation and it makes me want to cry and scream at the same time.

* * *

"Four!" I follow him up the stairs. I'm in no position to be ignoring him. He deserves an apology, an explenation. To my surprise he turns around and doesn't look as angry or annoyed as I expected him to be. "Four, we need to talk."

"I don't have much time." he shortly answers and I notice how disinterested he is.

"Look, I'm ..." I want to tell him, that I am sorry, but I can't. It suddenly feels so wrong. A simple _sorry_ doesn't make it any better. It doesn't bring back the time before I did that mistake. It won't make him change his mind. "It wasn't supposed to —"

"I know, Tris." he interrupts me and I'm wondering what he is talking about. "I have thought about it."

"Really?" I ask, obviously surprised and curious about what he's got to say.

"Yes. I know what Eric tried to do. He wanted to show me what he is capable of. He wanted to show me, that he always wins. And if he wanted, he could take away what is most important to me. Without much effort. I won't blame you. He had always been like this and he will never change." Then he begins to laugh quietly. "If I would have another girlfriend now, he would do anything to get her on his side. Only to show me how much power he has."

"And you think he tried the same with me? Trying to get me away from you for such a stupid reason?"

"Of course. You know, jealousy can drive people insane. He doesn't know how to handle this feeling, that's why he does dumb shit like this. I wonder what took me so long to notice that. I mean, he tried it once with you. Remember? After you came back from the fence."

I do remember, but I don't want to. He is playing with me just to show Four how he is able to break his heart. Just because he is jealous. The thought of it makes me sad and I regret everything I did. I'm no longer confused. I know exactly to who I belong to. To someone, who truly loves me for the person I am. I look at Four.

"So ... what about us now?" I ask carefully.

"Well, I guess ..." he hesitates and looks up the stairs. I wonder what he is thinking about. He turns his head to look into my eyes again. "Promise me, that you will be honest. Did he actually make it that far? You know ..."

"No." I say quickly. Deep inside I hate myself for lying at him once again. "No, we didn't do that."

I shake my head, but I refuse to look at him. I feel my cheeks heating up and I know that I am blushing. Having sex with the one you love is one thing, but talking about it, being asked if you had sex with another person by the one who loves you is another. Before this situation is getting even more awkward I go on my tiptoes to press my lips against his.

Right now I can't even find the right words to describe how I'm feeling. I'm happy that Four actually talks to me again. I'm happy that everything worked out with him, exactly the way I wanted it. But I feel bad for building up another great lie. I can never be honest to him again.

And then there is something I feel toward Eric. No love, no happiness and especially no sympathy.

* * *

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:** _Did anyone expect this to happen? Ha! Well, thank you for reading this fanfic! I would be extremly happy if you could leave a nice review if you liked it. Thanks! And again, thank you for the last reviews I got. I swear, it is more fun with you guys leaving a nice feedback! THANKS! _


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter ▪ **Eight**

_Tris_

Today was the last day of stage one. I'll surely make it into stage two, but when I look at Four — no, he won't let me fail just because he was angry. Eric said, that this won't happen and I believed him the moment he said it.

Four and I had a long talk last night and I am still tired. Things didn't work out as I expected them to do. I kissed him and he kissed me back. And that was it. After long two hours he decided to not give me a second chance. Not yet, he said. And now I am all alone. Without Four and without Eric.

I don't want Eric around me at the moment. He used me as a weapon against Four — _he used me_. He never was interested in me. All he wanted was to show Four what he is capable of. And I was naive enough to play along.

I'm waiting in the dining hall for my friends to see me. But instead of them I see Eric walking down the stairs. I refuse to look at him any longer and don't notice him approaching me.

"Tris?" I hear his dark voice behind me and turn around. He looks tired.

"I don't wanna talk to you." I say quietly as I turn around again. I don't care about the look on his face or how he feels right now. I will show him, that I'm not his _toy_. I'm not a person he can play that silly game with.

"I see ..." I know he hesitates, thinking about what to do now. I don't even need to look at him. "Can we talk later?"

I wonder what he wants to talk about, but it reminds me that I have something to tell him as well. I nod. "Okay. Good, I'll see you later then."

I didn't sound friendly and I didn't intend to do either. I turn around and see Christina and Will coming. They are happily holding hands and I feel how jealous I get when I look at them.

. . . .

I'm standing in front of Eric's door. Once again. I didn't knock yet, because I saw Four coming up the stairs. I know he noticed me standing here, but he doesn't look at me, not even into my direction. His apartment is on the other side of the corridor. He opens the door but before closing it, he looks at me shortly. It feels like hours, but then he's gone.

Then I see Eric coming up the stairs and he looks surprised as he sees me. He probably saw Four too and expected me to go with him.

"Hey." he says, but doesn't look at me while he unlocks the door to let me in. "So, what about you and Four now?"

"It's complicated." I shrug, keeping my hands in the pockets of my black jacket. It is anything but complicated. In fact it's all clear now. I cheated on him, and even though I lied to him, I know that he knows. It came at a price. "He told me that you tried to use me. Because you are jealous."

"Jealous?" he repeats my words with a more surprised, kind of angry tone in his voice. "I don't have a reason to be jealous."

"What did you use me for then?" I ask and don't notice how I get louder.

"I didn't use you, Tris." he says as he takes a seat on the couch. "Don't listen to that jerk. He has no idea."

"The things he said sounded pretty persuasive."

"Look, if I wanted to use you, I would have done other things."

"Prove me wrong." I demand shortly. I'm surprised at myself for talking to him like this. But this is not the leader of Dauntless standing in front of me now.

"Good." he nods and looks to the other side, probably thinking about what to say. Then he looks back at me again. "I didn't use you and it never was the plan to do so. I saw that you and Four got along and maybe I was a bit jealous. A tiny bit."

His confession leaves me speechless. Eric is very proud and I know, admitting that he's been jealous is difficult for him. More than that. Four was wrong. He didn't use me. Before I could say something he continues.

"I do care about you and I care about us." Slowly he comes closer to me. Then he begins to smile. "It's really hard to put this into words. I usually don't do such stuff."

I go on my tiptoes to wrap my arms around his neck. Then I lean forward to kiss his lips and he kisses me back. I finally know to who I belong to. And I knew it the whole time. Christina was right about what she said earlier.

He kisses me even harder and his hands start running down my sides until I feel them on my naked skin under my shirt. The way he kisses my neck makes me lose my mind for a second and I close my eyes. Not even Four was able to make me feel like this, but I don't want to think about him. Even though I'm with Eric now, I have to admit that Four left a little hole in my heart. Letting him go after everything we've been through is harder than I expected.

. . . .

This morning I wake up next to him. Today I will get to know whether I made it into stage two or not. I look at Eric, who is still sleeping. I wonder if he already knows the answer to my question. He probably knows who made it and who didn't. Gently I tap his shoulders and his eyes slowly open.

"Hey, wake up." I say quietly with a bright smile on my face. Then I lean forward to press a kiss on his cheek.

"Hey." he smiles back at me. "What's the time?"

"Around eight, I think." The sun already got up and I remember seeing it like this when I was at the arena, during the training. "I'm kinda nervous. Do you think I will make it into stage two?"

I'm sure that he knows, that this is just a pathetic attempt to make him telling me what he seems to know about the rankings.

"I know what you are trying to do here." he laughs and I can't do anything but join him. Then I get out of bed, covering the front side of my naked body with my clothes. Before I move out of the room I lean over Eric, gently kissing his lips.

"I'm going to take a shower." I walk toward the door but I stop when I stand in the doorframe. I turn around and lean against it with my back. "Wanna come with me?"

There are times when I don't even recognize myself. I never would have done this with Four. I probably would have waited until he left his apartment to even take a step into the shower. But with Eric things are different. I like the way he looks at me, when I am standing here like this. I don't feel the need to be ashamed or to hide anything because I know, that he likes my body the way it is. And thanks to him, I do too.

. . . .

"Tris, come on!" I hear Christina's voice shouting. "The rankings."

I quickly move toward her and Will. I see them standing close next to each other, but I'm not jealous anymore. I look up to wait for the rankings to show up, just like the rest of the initiants. Then I take a look around.

"Where is Al?" I ask, still searching for his face in the crowd of people.

"He left Dauntless last night." Will says quietly. I can just guess what he said, because I didn't understand a word. There is too much noise around us. But I think I understood him correctly.

"He didn't tell anyone. We just woke up and saw that all his stuff was gone. Four told us that he decided to leave." Christina adds. Before I could even think about him, I look up and notice Eric standing in front of the crowd. He looks good, the way he usually does. But his voice was different. It is his rough Dauntless voice. I know that he is just acting. It causes me to simply smile to myself. I guess, I'm in love.

I see that his lips are moving, but I'm not listening to what they let out. Then the rankings show up and I suddenly feel someone touching my arm. I turn my head to see, that it's Christina, who seems overly excited.

"Tris! You are third? You are better than Will. Well done." she almost screams into my face. Her voice can get very high. I'm surprised. I was never able to beat Will in a fight, but still I am better than him?

"Nice, Tris! Well done." I feel Will touching my shoulder. He is not the type for being jealous and I don't think he is. He is one of the less people, that likes to win, but also can accept a hit every now and then.

I see some friends approaching me, but before they can come any closer I back away. I smile at them. "I'll be back in a minute."

After a few meters of walking backwards I turn around and bump into someone's chest. I look up and see Four, not moving a single bit.

"Welcome to stage two." he smiles and it surprises me. "It's going to get tough from now on."

"Thank you." I say and turn away. I don't want to spend more time with him than necessary. I offered him to stay friends. But that doesn't mean, that I'll have to see him every minute.

I walk down the empty hallway and see Eric from afar. We begin to smile at each other after our eyes met and I keep on walking toward him.

"I did it! I'm third. I'm better than Will. How is that even possible?" Before he can say something I press my lips against his and I feel his arms wrapping around my body. I'm probably the happiest person on earth right now. And it's not just because of the fact that I made it into stage two.

"You did good during the training. You improved the most and that's why you deserve it." he says before kissing me again, longer this time. Hearing it from Eric makes me think, that I really did good and improved. I think I'm even a bit proud of myself for making it this far — for being born Abnegation, it really is far. Being with Eric is a lot easier than I expected. He makes me feel much better and with him I have the feeling, that I finally know where I belong.

* * *

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:** _Isn't this wonderful? What do you guys think? I just love them together and I've put a lot of effort in this chapter. Thanks for the last reviews, they were heart-warming! Leave a few more if you like this chapter. Thank you!_


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter ▪ **Nine**

_Tris_

The last days I didn't see much of Eric. Four and Lauren are the only ones to take care about the initiants during stage two — _Four_. I see him way too often and spend more time with him than we both actually planned on doing. The moments we are alone in a room can get very awkward. We don't have much to talk about anymore and I have to admit, that I'm not really interested in how he is doing after our break-up. I don't want to tell him about me and Eric either.

Whenever I think about Eric I can't hold back a smile. I have never thought that he can be like this. Not even in my wildest dreams. He is charming and kind in his very own way and I love it. I adore the way he treats me. It makes me feel something I have never felt before, not even when I was with Four. I suddenly start to think about my future but I'm anything but worried. With Eric by my side I never worry.

I walk up the stairs to the office. I don't know what has been worse today. The simulation, which included a whole lot of water in a parochial room, or the encouragement I received afterwards from my ex-boyfriend. I didn't ask for any of it. I'm standing in front of the office and wait. I'm inconspicuously leaning against the door and try to hear voices coming from inside. I don't hear anything, but I know that Eric must be there at this time of the day. It means that we are alone, which is a good thing.

I open the door to see how my senses disappoint me. Through the door crack I see the back of a brown-haired woman. Lauren. She's standing straight with her chin up and it looks like she crosses her arms. As I open the door wider I see Eric standing in front of her on the other side of the desk. He's leaning with his back against the wall behind him, with his arms crossed as well. His glance is hard and his eyes wear their usual coldness. Instead of entering I listen to them talking.

"Look, we can go without you, Eric. As fast as Max made you a leader, the faster he can roll his desicion back." I hear Lauren saying sharply, pointing her finger on Eric while she talks. As Lauren turns around with a loud sigh, I back away immediately and hide, so she won't see me. Eric is no longer in my sight, I can only hear his voice now.

"_You_ can go without me?" I hear him moving, probably walking towards her. He sounds upset. "How dare you talking to me like this? Don't you forget who is standing in front of you."_  
_

"I'm totally aware of who is standing in front of me." she protests aggressivly and it's quiet for a moment. I heard steps but I can't integrate them into a movement, which her or Eric possibly just made.

"I am capable of doing horrible things, Lauren. And you better believe me when I say that. I wear blood on my hands for this damn faction." I wince a little at what he just said, raising my hand to cover my mouth, just to make sure I won't make any noises. "When I notice you taking any steps against me — which we both know isn't that easy in your position, but if you are dumb enough to try I'm gonna cut you into pieces."

My heart tells me, that it might be better to go. I don't need to know these things about him. I don't want to know it. But my head tells me different. Too many questions are floating through my mind right now. What is he actually capable of? What does he mean by having blood on his hands? And especially, what are they talking about?

My feet start moving away from the door, almost automatically. But Lauren's voice makes them stop again and I turn around, back into my previous position.

"I can't believe what they did to you, Eric. You and I got along back in the day. But when I look at you now ... I have to remind myself that it really was you I have spent most of my time with during initiation."

"Get the fuck out."

Then I hear steps fastly coming closer to the door and I rush to the next corner I can find near to me. Lauren walks out of the office, whispering the word _asshole_, if I understood correctly. The last things she said make me wonder how he has been during his initiation and how close he was to Lauren.

I make sure that Lauren is gone and quickly move toward the door again. Eric is now standing with his back to me, running both of his hands over his face in frustration. I close the door behind me loudly to make him notice that I am here. He looks at me and his glance softens slowly. I can't tell him that I've been listening to them talking, so I'm just going to pretend I didn't hear a thing. Even though I have a lot of questions to ask him.

"Hey, gorgeous." he smiles at me. The sound of his voice is so different from what I have heard before. It suddenly feels hard to tell which of his two sides is the real Eric — the ruthless leader of Dauntless or the lovely and calm man I have fallen in love with.

I need to carry it off well, so I just play along with the lovely part of his. I lean against his chest, going on my tiptoes to kiss his lips. I feel his hands on my back and his touch makes me forget about what happened before for a little moment. Even though I don't want to seperate, I back away, turning around to close the door I simply left open. Kissing him in front of it was risky enough.

As I turn around to see him again, he is already sitting on the chair. I take a seat on the desk right in front of him. I need to know what he and Lauren have been talking about.

"Is everything alright?" I ask carefully. On that way I try to find the answers, trying to get them without letting it sound like I would have a clue about what just happened.

"Sure. Why?" he says but he doesn't smile, nor is he looking at me.

"You look stressed out. Lauren walked past me and she looked pissed. Was she here?" In my head these words didn't sound as direct and conspicious as they do now. He looks up to me and I smile to not let him notice anything. Then I start moving, sitting down on his lap with my arms around his neck. His hands start running up my thighs until they stop at my hips. I don't mind his tight grip on them. I like it and I can't hold back a smile.

"Yes, she was here. But it wasn't anything important. We just clarified some things." It's not really a lie, but it is no truth either. I stop asking any more questions. I don't want my curiosity to take over. I lean down a bit to kiss him once again. I can never get enough and I know that he feels the same. With every second the kiss gets more passionate and I simply enjoy it. The way his hands feel on my body, the way he tightens his grip, the way he kisses me — it all keeps me craving for more, much more than this and he knows it.

His warm hands slide under my shirt, pulling it up a bit and I just let it happen.

_I am capable of doing horrible things, Lauren._ I don't know why I suddenly have his voice in my mind. I can't ignore the things he said. I know he can get brutal, at least he acts like it. But would he really — I need to get rid of this thought. _I can't believe what they did to you, Eric._

I stop and back away, earning a questioning glance from Eric. "What is it?"

He's not like that. He just said those things to make her go away. That's what I keep on telling myself, but it won't get any better. I stand up and force a smile.

"Christina is waiting for me. And she doesn't like to wait." I lie and I can't believe what I'm doing. I just found an excuse to get away from him and it makes me feel guilty. I don't want to leave him but I need to get rid of these voices in my head. I turn my back on him and I suddenly feel his hands on my hips again. He gently pulls me closer, pressing his chest against my back and I feel his lips on my neck. I hold back a quiet laugh and bite my underlip, because I love how it feels like. I close my eyes with a quiet sigh and it makes me lose myself for a moment. Once again.

"She'll get over it." he whispers against my skin, trying to convince me. That wouldn't have been necessary if those voices in my head weren't this strong. It's like they directly lead me out of the door, away from Eric. And in the end they even win. I break away from his arms, from his kiss and I still feel the pressure of his tight grip on my hips. I turn around to press one last kiss on his lips.

"I'll see you tonight." I say quietly as I move out of the office, slowly closing the door behind me.

* * *

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:** _I'm sorry for being so slowy lately. But I'll make sure to update as fast as possible. Leave a nice review if you enjoyed this chapter. c:_


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter ▪ **Ten**

_Tris_

"Tris! Tris, wait!" I hear a familiar dark voice calling my name, followed by footsteps. I cross my arms when I turn around. My ponytail swings around my neck. I see Four coming from the other end of the hallway. I try my best to avoid a conversation whenever I see him. But this time it is different. It doesn't seem like he just wants to chat. It seems urgent and it makes me listen to his words without hesitation.

"I need to talk to you. It's important." he says after he stopped right in front of me. I notice beard stubble on his otherwise soft skin and it makes me wonder if he just forgot to shave, or if it is some kind of new look he tries on himself. I don't want to judge. I simply shouldn't care, but I have to admit that it looks good on him.

"Okay." I nod, not looking at him. I open my mouth to speak, but his voice stops me.

"Let's go to the cafeteria. There are not many people at such a time." I would have prefered to stay here in this hallway. Here, where nobody can get sight of us. Where especially Eric won't catch us.

_Catch us_ — I begin to frown at my own thought. I make it sound like I would do something forbidden. But I don't. I follow his steps until we take a seat at one of the tables. He sits in front of me, leaning a bit forward and I do the same.

"How have you been, Tris?" he asks quietly. His voice sounds serious and caring. Like he actually is interested in how I am doing with Eric now. I just look at him, shaking my head slightly. I still don't feel like talking about me and Eric, especially not with him.

"Okay, good. I got it. Nevermind." he sighs and leans back again. Maybe I was acting too fast once again. Maybe he really just wanted to make sure I am fine, even though he knows that I am. Maybe it was just supposed to be a nice touch. "Anyhow, I think Eric is up to something."

"What?" I ask, acting surprised. I knew it since that day when I was listening to him and Lauren talking in the office. But I keep on telling myself that it's not true. He is not up to something. It was just a personal problem between the two of them. Nothing more. "This is rediculous."

"This is _not_ rediculous. I've talked to Lauren and we assume that he is working with Erudite. I'm not exactly sure what it is, though. You know ..." he hesitates while he looks at me. It is like he is thinking, trying to find the right words in my eyes, but I turn away. I don't want him to stare at me like this.

"You could find out for us. You two, well ..." he shrugs, clearing his throat quietly. "You are probably the closest person to him right now. Maybe he will tell you."

"I'm not going to do this!" I protest louder than I planed on doing. What is he expecting from me? I'm not going to ruin my relationship, snooping around in his business just for a proof that Four was actually right. I don't want to find out about what Eric does — because there is nothing suspicious about him.

I sigh loudly in frustration. I know I'm telling myself the same lie over and over again. I need to find out what is going on.

"Fine. I'm trying to find something out." I stand up. I don't want to spend any more time with him. I feel bad for doing this, but still it doesn't feel as wrong as I want it to feel like. Before I go I turn around once again. "I'm not doing this for you, Four."

"Of course, you're not. I know."

* * *

I walk up the stairs to Eric's apartment. The talk I had with Four an hour ago didn't do me good. My head hurts, probably from thinking way too much. What is Eric up to? Does he really work with Erudite? What do they work on? Is it something harmful for Dauntless? Is it something harmful for me?

I take the apartment key Eric gave me, opening the door and closing it loudly. I just want to crawl into bed with Eric by my side, convincing myself that it's all not true. It can't be true. It probably is just something Four came up with for whatever reason. Jealousy, revenge, it can be anything.

When I walk in Eric is not the first person I see. I stand still, thinking about an excuse to get Lauren's questioning and wide eyes off me. But at the same time I'm waiting for Eric to say something, explaining why exactly she is here.

"Where the hell are you coming from?" she asks, standing up from the couch she was sitting on. Eric stands in front of her and crosses his arms. I don't like the way he looks at me now. He makes me feel like I did something wrong, like I shouldn't be here. Then he walks towards me, his hand touching my shoulder as he gently presses against it. It causes me to go backwards and I finally notice that he leads me to the door. He wants me to go.

"It's none of your business." he growls at Lauren before he turns his head to me again. We reach the door but before he can go any further I stop, crossing my arms. I shouldn't be the one he throws out of his apartment. Lauren shouldn't be the one to stay.

"Why is she here? And why can't I stay?" I ask angrily. This doesn't make any sense to me. "You're throwing out the wrong person."

"I'm not throwing you out. Just come back later and I'll explain, okay?"

I shake my head and open the door. I am upset for him throwing me out, letting Lauren stay instead. Upset for not knowing anything about why she is there and what they talk about. I walk outside the door but his voice stops me.

"Please come back later. I promise I will explain it but I really need to clear things up first." He takes one step closer, close enough to press his lips against mine shorty. Then he turns around and closes the door, leaving me just like this. Alone and unknowing.

"What happened?" I didn't see Four coming but his voice didn't surprise me either. He comes closer with a smile but I'm not smiling back. I don't know why but I am not moving, staying in front of Eric's door like I would hope for him to change his mind and let me inside again. _That's rediculous_, I think to myself and walk past Four.

"Nothing happened." I say, letting my voice sound disintereded on purpose. I wanted to go downstairs and see whoever is down in the pit. Anyone but Four. But then I turn around and look at him. I didn't make a promise to him, but yet I told him that I would try to find something out. I should be knowing that it is not me he is interested in. It's the posible information he wants to ask about. It makes everything feel a little less wrong. Talking to him, actually spending more time with him than necessary feels easier now.

"Lauren is in there and talks to him. He didn't let me stay. He said ..." I hesitate. Am I betraying him for talking about what he said to me? For talking about him and about his business behind his back without even hearing his explanation? I don't think I have ever felt as confused as I do now. "He said that he's going to explain to me later."

"That's good." he nods and comes closer to me. "Tris, this is important, you understand? You definitely need to let us know what he told you. Lauren and I, we have an assumption."

"What assumption?" I ask, now turning around completely, walking towards him as well and we stand face to face.

"Well, Lauren and I think that it has something to do with Divergents."

* * *

**A/N:** _I'm sorry that this chapter is rather short! Currently I don't have much time to write due to my finals. Also I apologize if you expected less Four and more Eric and Tris in this chapter but you know. It's not really working without Four and this story needs to progress. I wanted to concentrate on Tris this time and how confused she is. Next chapter will be better! :c _

_I'd still appreciate a nice review. With that you guys keep me going! : _


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter ▪ **Eleven**

_Tris_

I know he wanted me to come back. I know he wanted to explain what it was between Lauren and him.

It was a strange feeling to sleep in the dormitory again after such a long time. But I didn't feel like hearing Eric out. I had rather prefered to spend the rest of the night with Christina and Will. It was an amusing change. Even though it only lasted a few hours.

After the shower I sit at a table in the cafeteria. All alone once again. I need more time to think about what happened lately. I want to hear what Eric has to say, I want him to explain these things to me. But at the same time I don't want to hear anything about it. I'm afraid our relationship will get destroyed by his business. Only because I decided to stick my nose into it. I wish I would have just walked away when I heard Lauren and him speaking in the office.

I wonder how long Lauren stayed at his apartment. I wonder if he waited for me or if my absence even bothered him. Maybe he needed some time on his own as well and was glad that I gave him the chance to let some thoughts run through his mind. Maybe he hoped that I would be the one to keep him from these thoughts and without me he was helplessly lost in them.

I lean forward with my elbows on the table and begin to massage my temples, hoping that the headache will be gone in a few seconds. I close my eyes and try to think about something else.

"Good morning, Tris." I open my eyes to see Four suddenly sitting in front of me. He looks wide awake, but not as fresh as he usually appears. The dark circles under his eyes tell me that he didn't get much sleep last night. "Is everything alright?"

"Sure." I snort tiredly as I lean back and cross my arms. "My boyfriend kicked me out of his apartment to let another woman stay. It feels great! I wouldn't want it to be any different."

"Well, he got his priorities, I guess." he says, his lips forming a smile. His words, the sound of his voice and the look on his face — I have so many reasons to just knock him out, even though I know I'm not able to go that far. "Anyway, I actually just wanted to know if you were able to find out anything yesterday. What did he say?"

"I stayed with Christina and Will and slept in the dormitory afterwards." I look down on my hands. My voice sounds like I did something wrong, like I expected something else from myself and now I'm disappointed. My mind isn't clear enough to differentiate right from wrong. I'm anything but satisfied with my own desicions. It's like I'm completly blind, trusting a voice in my head of which I know it can't be trusted. But I do it anyway.

"Oh, I didn't know that." he says, nearly whispering. "You know I am still there for you."

I can't remember the last time his voice sounded so soft and caring like it does now. I feel the palm of his hand touching my cheek, making me look up into his eyes, but they are not the first thing in my sight.

I stand up immediately after I looked over Four's shoulder to see Eric coming. I feel happy to see him. I know that the little smile on my face isn't very appropriate right now, but I couldn't hold it back. He's wearing a simple black t-shirt, nothing special. But that's what I like the most on him. It's not too wide, so it shows off his muscular and tattooed arms.

His eyes are fixed on Four and it tells me that I'm not the reason why he is here. He roughly grabs his arm, pulling him up to make him stand before he pushes him hardly to the ground. I quickly take a step back.

"You think you're clever, don't you?" Eric stands in front of Four, who is standing up again, carelessly cleaning his clothes as if nothing happened. "Are you afraid of me, Four? Is that the reason why you've sent Lauren to me? Did you think she can make me change my mind?"

"No, it was her idea. She thought she could talk some sense into you. I told her that it's useless but ..." he pauses and looks at me, then back at Eric. "I guess there are still people in this world you can trick with your lies."

I notice two, three people walking into the cafeteria and so does Eric. He slowly moves towards Four until they are just an arm's lenght away from each other. I look down on Four's shoes. He was about to take a step back, but stoped before his foot completes the move. I wouldn't say that he is afraid of Eric. I'd call it great respect for the things our leader his capable of in his position.

"Listen," he speaks quietly but still loud enough for me to understand. "if Lauren or you again feel the need to take care of _my_ business, I swear I'm gonna shoot you both on the spot." He turns around and walks past me. He didn't even look at me once.

I quickly follow him up the stairs before too many people get sight of us. I expected him to go to the office but he keeps on moving up to his apartment. I stand behind him when he unlocks the door, opening it and waiting for me to go inside first.

At first we don't say anything. I sit down on the couch while he gets himself something to drink before he sits down next to me. He's leaning forward with both of his elbows on his thighs. Slowly I let my hand run up and down his back until I move closer to his face, pressing my lips against his temple. I'm not sure if it really helps but I have to admit that I don't know what else I could do. I don't want to ask what he was talking about or why he even attacked Four like this. I don't want to put any more pressure on him.

"Are you two getting along again?" he suddenly speaks and I'm glad he broke the silence. I just wished it would have been another question. Four shouldn't be the main subject right now.

"No, not really." I shake my head and I'm not even lying this time. We talk more than we used to before, but that doesn't mean that we are close to each other again. "He's jealous. That's all."

Then he finally looks at me as he begins to smile. "Obviously."

He leans back, pressing his lips against mine. I've been waiting for this since the moment I saw him down in the cafeteria. Since I've passed the first stage we don't get to spend much time together. Yesterday I've slept in the dormitory again, so it feels like it's been way too long. After a little while I back away slowly.

"That's alcohol." I state, looking at the glass standing on the little table in front of the couch. I thought it was water or something else until I tasted it on his lips. He begins to laugh and now I'm wondering why I was so surprised. He's one of the Dauntless leaders, after all. Of course he keeps such stuff in his apartment.

"What else did you think? _Water_?" he makes it sound like it was so obvious. But it wasn't. Not for me.

"How am I supposed to know what you drink? It looks like water."

I take the glass and hold it up as if I would want him to take a closer look at it. But he just takes it out of my hand, putting it back on its former place and leans forward again to kiss me. The taste isn't bothering me at all.

We stay like this for a while, kissing and feeling each other. It was just one single night without him but I notice that it feels like so much more. I guess I got used to his presence way too fast and this is the result. I stop and back away just a tiny bit and our eyes meet.

"I love you." I say quietly, my eyes fixed on his. At first he doesn't say anything, moving closer again instead to kiss my lips shortly. I feel the goose bumps raising on my skin and I catch myself longing for his warm body, his strong arms around me. As if he'd read my mind he stops kissing me and does exactly what I have wished for, whispering into my ear.

"I love you, too."

* * *

**A/N:** _Tell me that you have Eris-feels! Because I do! I definitely need more of that cute stuff between the two of them, aah. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Thank you for reading and leave a nice review please! It shows me that most of you are still interested in this and didn't get bored by now, haha. You will keep me going with telling me what you think! c:_


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter ▪ **Twelve**

_Tris_

Again I tried to hide whenever I knew the paths of Four and me might have crossed. I know his presence isn't good for me, nor for my relationship with Eric. And it worked. We haven't spoken in a few days, unless I had to meet him for the simulations and tests. He didn't bothered me with whatever Eric's plans could be. He didn't ask me about anything I might have found out or something he explained to me.

I stand in front of the window of Eric's apartment, waiting for him while I watch the stars in the night sky. It's a beautiful image I would love to keep and it somehow makes me think about the time when I was younger. The time when my family and I were still together and I secretly wish to go back home, just to enjoy one more evening together with Mom, Dad and Caleb. I never realized how much I missed them until now.

Then the sound of keys unlocking the door rip me out of my thoughts. I turn my head to see Eric walking in, but I'm not moving from where I'm standing. The dark night sky catches my attention again instead.

"What are you looking at?" I hear Eric's voice from behind me and I turn around again and smile. Before I say something I wrap my arms around his body, feeling his strong arms around me as well. Then I greet him with a kiss and let my head rest against his chest.

"Just the stars and the sky." I answer quietly. Then I look up to him, hesitating before I let out the question, which is running through my mind right now. "Do you ever miss your family?"

"You ask a lot of questions." he backs away but the smile on his face stays. I watch his back before I follow him into the bedroom. When I walk in he sits on the edge of his bed. "I don't miss them. Instead I threw knifes at them because I didn't like the way they talked to me. At least that's what people would probably expect from me."

He begins to laugh quietly, rather to himself. Then he looks up to me. "You'd be surprised about how many people would actually believe me when I tell them such stories. _Idiots_."

I crawl into the bed while he gets rid of his clothes, laying down next to me afterwards. I press my lips on his shortly, backing away even though I knew he wants more. "You know that it's your own fault, don't you? You make them believe such stories because they fear you."

"Yes, I know." he smirks, seeming to be proud of the fact that he is feared by people. It's something I don't and probably never will understand. "I'm their leader, after all. I just want to make sure they won't forget that."

By throwing knifes at them? Or by letting them nearly fall down the chasm? I decide to keep these thoughts to myself. I don't want to turn this situation into something serious, so I lean forward to kiss his lips once again. I'm sure that even the brutal and ruthless leader inside of him misses his family sometimes.

"Do they come to visit you?" I ask as I back away slowly. He was right when he said that I ask a lot of questions but it's only because he never really answers them. Instead of doing that he rather answers my questions with another question or ends up being sarcastic.

"Why do you want to know?"

"Is there something you're keeping secret?" I begin to laugh, raising an eyebrow at him. "Maybe you really threw knifes at them."

"No, I didn't." he sighs with a smile. "My parents visited me during initiation. They are busy so they can't visit me often. I don't want them to run around here anyway. I wouldn't have much time for them and I know they end up standing in the way."

It is easy to see that he usually doesn't talk about such private things. While I keep my eyes on him, he turns his head away, concentraiting on a spot on the ceiling. Every now and then I tend to forget that Eric had been through all of this too. Just like everyone else, he is a mother's child that's been taken away by the strong hands of our faction system. But in the end there is still one thing I don't understand when I look at him: Who taught him that being brutal and ruthless is the only way to earn respect? Who told him that being feared is actually a good thing?

"Are you satisfied now?" His sudden voice rips me out of my thoughts and I try to cover my absence with a smile. If I would be honest, I would shake my head and ask him about his family and about his initiation. But I nod instead and come closer to press a kiss on his lips.

* * *

The next morning I didn't want to leave him, but I had to. I can't wait until I can finally crawl into bed with Eric again. Initiation is the only thing that keeps me away from him and I am forced to spend the next hour with Four. I don't like the way he stands there in the door frame, waiting for me in the simulation room with a faked smile.

"You're two minutes late, Tris." I know he is not serious. It's true that I'm late, but I also know that it doesn't bother him. Without looking into his face I sit down on the chair and lean back while he stands next to me to prepare everything we need for the simulation. Then he turns his head to see me and it's the first time I look into his eyes as well.

"I was at the office today" he begins. "and I found some interesting stuff. It's true that Eric is working with Erudite. And it's true that it has something to do with Divergents. You wanna hear more or shall I stop here?"

I roll my eyes and turn my head to the other side. I need more time to think. I feel his hand touching my shoulder and it catches my attention. He used to look at me that way before. When everything was alright with us. I secretly wish we would get along again, that we could still be friends after all this. I shake my head to answer his question and his hand slips off my skin.

"Eric is working for Jeanine Matthews. She's hunting Divergents to either kill them or use them for her experiments. And he is helping her, you know ... tracking them down and bring them to where Jeanine needs them." he hesitates before he keeps on talking. "You are divergent, Tris."

I suddenly feel wide awake. I lean forward as I look down onto my legs, putting my wet hands on my knees as if I would want them to stop from walking away — because I really wish to be somewhere else right now. But I need to stay.

"Listen, Eric is the person you should definitely stay away from. If he finds out about you being divergent he will probably take you to Jeanine or —" he stops when I stand up and start slowly walking up and down the room, drowning in my thoughts. I finish the sentence in my head against my own will. He will take me to Jeanine or he will kill me. Instead of fearing him I decided to love him. That's probably one of my biggest mistakes.

"Tris." I hear Four's voice and see how he is coming closer to me. "He is capable of horrible things. He will follow his orders. I know that. He's not going to save you just because he likes to kiss you. You need to stay away from him."

"He's not going to let that happen." I say confidently before I sit down on the chair again. I have no idea where this certainty is coming from but I do believe that his love for me is strong enough to recognize the real enemy, the real problem. It's not me and he knows that. "He won't find out about me being divergent. And if he does ..." I hesitate but I keep my eyes on Four's. "If he does, he won't kill me."

"So you are alright with him killing innocent people as long as you're not one of them?" His voice is surprisingly calm when he says that. I lean back and stare at the ceiling for a while. Before he even spoke out the last words of his question, the answer was shooting through my mind already, stopping right in front of my eyes: _no_.

I shake my head. "We will find a way. I'm going to talk to him."

In the corner of my eye I see him nodding. Then he takes the syringe and I close my eyes, waiting for one of my fears to challenge me.

* * *

_Eric_

I always prefered doing things on my own. I was never in need of help and I thought people would know this by now. Max is standing in front of the office door. He was just about to leave and I'm not sure what still keeps him here. Standing in front of the desk, I look up at him before I keep on reading through the papers — contracts, enquiries and more stuff I don't even care about.

"You still need anything?" I ask kind of annoyed. I'm not being serious. It was rather another attempt to finally make him leave the room than actually trying to be helpful.

"Jeanine will be here in a minute, Eric. Do not mess this up." With his chin he points at the white sheets in front of me. I'm not quite sure why he said that. I don't like the tone of his voice, the way he talks to me sometimes. Every now and then I tend to forget that I am not the only one to lead Dauntless.

"Don't worry." I say as I sit down on the chair behind me. "I know Erudite and their way of thinking."

"I know that you do. That's not what I'm talking about." He comes closer as he crosses his arms. The look on his face is serious and it's not easy to read. He wanted to work with Jeanine from the start, probably more than I do. He knows about Erudite being my former faction and that might be the reason why he asked me to talk to Jeanine instead of doing it himself. "Just stay focused on what we discussed the other day."

I keep my eyes on his back until he disappears behind the door and I'm finally alone. I try to think about what made him saying these things while my eyes wander over the reports of certain simulation results. It's nothing more than a few assumptions but there is one person I'm sure that she is divergent. Once again I take a look at Tris' results, which are differentiating from the others the most. I fold the papers to let them disappear in my pocket.

I hear a knock on the door and stand up immediately. Two men dressed in blue enter the office, followed by Jeanine and another woman I have never seen before. I still don't get why she keeps on surrounding herself with so many people, who would just stand in the way.

"Hello." She reaches out her hand and I shake it without hesitation. "So we meet again. Anyhow, let's get straight to what I came for. I want the reports of anyone with conspicuous simulation results."

While I collect all the reports together, I hear her talking something about the headquarters but I don't really pay attention to it. Then I put the sheets right in front of her. She puts on her glasses of which I'm sure she doesn't even need. "That's all I got."

After a few minutes of silence she looks up to me and nods. "Alright. I might have use of them in my laboratory. They are definitely divergent but ... how's Prior doing? Is Beatrice doing well?"

"Not any better than the others." I lie because I know that it's the exact opposite. There is no chance for her to end up being factionless, even though it might be better for her to do so.

"You didn't take a look at her results?"

"Yes, I did. But there was no sign of her being divergent." I shrug.

"Is that so?" Her eyes tell me that she doesn't believe me and I lean back in my chair, crossing my arms. Instead of looking away, I keep my eyes fixed on hers because any other reaction would just give me away. "It might be better to keep an eye on her. If you can't do it, I will ask someone else then."

She stands up, taking the reports with her as she is about to leave the room. "Make sure to bring these people to our headquarters."

I nod and watch them walking out the door until the last person dressed in blue closes it. I take deep breath. I know that she will come back to take a look at Tris' results. I don't think I'll be able to cover her a second time and that's what worries me the most.

* * *

**A/N:** _Finally a new chapter! I'm sorry for letting you wait so long. I hope this one will give you some clarity, especially Eric's part. Thanks for reading and leaving a nice review! c:_


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